Holiday Romance | Page 4

the
refusal of the detested Drowvey to fall. Finding her so obstinate, he had
said to her, 'Die, recreant!' but had found her no more open to reason on
that point than the other.
My blooming bride appeared, accompanied by the colonel's bride, at
the dancing-school next day. What? Was her face averted from me?
Hah? Even so. With a look of scorn, she put into my hand a bit of paper,
and took another partner. On the paper was pencilled, 'Heavens! Can I
write the word? Is my husband a cow?'
In the first bewilderment of my heated brain, I tried to think what
slanderer could have traced my family to the ignoble animal mentioned
above. Vain were my endeavours. At the end of that dance I whispered
the colonel to come into the cloak-room, and I showed him the note.
'There is a syllable wanting,' said he, with a gloomy brow.
'Hah! What syllable?' was my inquiry.
'She asks, can she write the word? And no; you see she couldn't,' said
the colonel, pointing out the passage.
'And the word was?' said I.
'Cow - cow - coward,' hissed the pirate-colonel in my ear, and gave me
back the note.

Feeling that I must for ever tread the earth a branded boy, - person I
mean, - or that I must clear up my honour, I demanded to be tried by a
court-martial. The colonel admitted my right to be tried. Some
difficulty was found in composing the court, on account of the Emperor
of France's aunt refusing to let him come out. He was to be the
president. Ere yet we had appointed a substitute, he made his escape
over the back-wall, and stood among us, a free monarch.
The court was held on the grass by the pond. I recognised, in a certain
admiral among my judges, my deadliest foe. A cocoa-nut had given
rise to language that I could not brook; but confiding in my innocence,
and also in the knowledge that the President of the United States (who
sat next him) owed me a knife, I braced myself for the ordeal.
It was a solemn spectacle, that court. Two executioners with pinafores
reversed led me in. Under the shade of an umbrella I perceived my
bride, supported by the bride of the pirate-colonel. The president,
having reproved a little female ensign for tittering, on a matter of life or
death, called upon me to plead, 'Coward or no coward, guilty or not
guilty?' I pleaded in a firm tone, 'No coward and not guilty.' (The little
female ensign being again reproved by the president for misconduct,
mutinied, left the court, and threw stones.)
My implacable enemy, the admiral, conducted the case against me. The
colonel's bride was called to prove that I had remained behind the
corner lamp-post during the engagement. I might have been spared the
anguish of my own bride's being also made a witness to the same point,
but the admiral knew where to wound me. Be still, my soul, no matter.
The colonel was then brought forward with his evidence.
It was for this point that I had saved myself up, as the turning- point of
my case. Shaking myself free of my guards, - who had no business to
hold me, the stupids, unless I was found guilty, - I asked the colonel
what he considered the first duty of a soldier? Ere he could reply, the
President of the United States rose and informed the court, that my foe,
the admiral, had suggested 'Bravery,' and that prompting a witness
wasn't fair. The president of the court immediately ordered the
admiral's mouth to be filled with leaves, and tied up with string. I had
the satisfaction of seeing the sentence carried into effect before the
proceedings went further.
I then took a paper from my trousers-pocket, and asked, 'What do you

consider, Col. Redford, the first duty of a soldier? Is it obedience?'
'It is,' said the colonel.
'Is that paper - please to look at it - in your hand?'
'It is,' said the colonel.
'Is it a military sketch?'
'It is,' said the colonel.
'Of an engagement?'
'Quite so,' said the colonel.
'Of the late engagement?'
'Of the late engagement.'
'Please to describe it, and then hand it to the president of the court.'
From that triumphant moment my sufferings and my dangers were at
an end. The court rose up and jumped, on discovering that I had strictly
obeyed orders. My foe, the admiral, who though muzzled was
malignant yet, contrived to suggest that I was dishonoured by having
quitted the field. But the colonel himself had done as much, and gave
his opinion, upon his word and honour as a pirate, that when all was
lost the