Hocken and Hunken | Page 5

never a ship's captain hauled ashore but in three
weeks he'd be ready to teach the Chancellor of th' Exchequer his
business an' inclined to wonder how soon he'd be offered the job."
"A ship's captain needn't be altogether a born fool."
"No: an' next you'll be bent on larnin' to speak in public; and takin'
occasions to practise, secondin' votes o' thanks an' such like. After that
you'll be marryin' a wife--"
"I don't want to marry a wife, I tell 'ee!"
"Who said you did? Well, then, you'll get married--they dotes on a
public man as a rule; and for tanglin' a man up in habits there's no snare
like wedlock, not in the whole world. I've known scores o' men get
married o' purpose to break clear o' their habits an' take a fresh start;
but ne'er a man that didn't tie himself up thereby in twenty new habits
for e'er a one he'd let drop."
"Go on with your folly, if it amuses you."
"Then, again, you've taken a house."
"So Rogers tells me. I don't even know the rent, at this moment."
"Twenty-five pound p'r annum," put in Mr Philp. Captain Cai--released
just then from his wrapper--turned and stared at him.
"I had it from the Postmistress," Mr Philp's tone was matter-of-fact, his
gaze unabashed. "Bein' paralytic, Rogers did your business with the
widow by letter; he keeps a type-writin' machine an' pays Tabb's girl
three shillin' a-week to work it. The paper's thin, as I've had a mind to
warn 'er more than once."
"'Twould be a Christian act," suggested Mr Toy. "If there's truth in half
what folks say, some of old Johnny Rogers' correspondence 'd make
pretty readin' for the devil."

"But look here," interposed Captain Cai, "what's this about doin'
business with a widow? Whose widow?"
"Why, your landlady, to be sure--the Widow Bosenna, up to Rilla
Farm."
"No--stop a minute--take that blessed latherin'-brush out o' my mouth!
You don't tell me old Bosenna's dead, up there?"
"It didn' altogether surprise most of us when it happened," said the
barber philosophically. "A man risin' sixty-five, with his habits! . . . But
it all came about by the County Council's widenin' the road up at Four
Turnin's. . . . You see, o' late years th' old man 'd ride home on
Saturdays so full he had to drop off somewhere 'pon the road; an' his
mare gettin' to find this out, as dumb animals do, had picked up a
comfortable way of canterin' hard by Four Turnin's and stoppin' short,
slap in the middle of her stride, close by th' hedge, so 's her master 'd
roll over it into the plantation there, where the ditch is full of
oak-leaves. There he'd lie, peaceful as a suckin' child; and there, every
Sabbath mornin' in the small hours, one o' the farm hands 'd be sent to
gather 'em in wi' the new-laid eggs. So it went on till one day the
County Council, busy as usual, takes a notion to widen th' road just
there; an' not only pulls down th' hedge, but piles up a great heap o'
stones, ready to build a new one. Whereby either the mare hadn'
noticed the improvement or it escaped her memory. Anyway--the night
bein' dark--she shoots old Bosenna neck-an'-crop 'pon the stones. It
caused a lot o' feelin' at the time, an' the coroner's jury spoke their
minds pretty free about it. They brought it in that he'd met his death by
the visitation o' God brought about by a mistake o' the mare's an' helped
on by the over-zealous behaviour of the County Surveyor. Leastways
that's how they put it at first; but on the Coroner's advice they struck
out the County Surveyor an' altered him to a certain party or parties
unknown."
"I mind Mrs Bosenna well," said Captain Cai, rising as the barber
unwrapped him; "a smallish well-featured body, with eyes like bullace
plums."

"Ay, an' young enough to ha' been old Bosenna's daughter--a penniless
maid from Holsworthy in Devon, as I've heard; an' now she's left there,
up to Rilla, happy as a mouse in cheese. Come to think, Cap'n Cai, you
might do worse than cock your hat in that quarter."
But Captain Cai did not hear for the moment. He was peering into the
looking-glass and thinking less of Mrs Bosenna than of his
shaven-altered appearance.
"'Twould be a nice change for her, too," pursued Mr Toy in a rallying
tone; "an adaptable man like you, Cap'n."
"Eh? What's that you were sayin' about my hat?" asked Captain Cai;
and just then, letting his gaze wander to the depths of the glass, he was
aware of Mr Philp shamelessly trying on that same hat before another
mirror at