Hieroglyphic Tales | Page 3

to the
memory of Jonathan, to whose prejudice he had succeeded to the
throne.

TALE 1.
_A new Arabian Night's Entertainment._
At the foot of the great mountain Hirgonqúu was anciently situated the
kingdom of Larbidel. Geographers, who are not apt to make such just
comparisons, said, it resembled a football just going to be kicked away;
and so it happened; for the mountain kicked the kingdom into the ocean,

and it has never been heard of since.
One day a young princess had climbed up to the top of the mountain to
gather goat's eggs, the whites of which are excellent for taking off
freckles.--Goat's eggs!--Yes--naturalists hold that all Beings are
conceived in an egg. The goats of Hirgonqúu might be oviparous, and
lay their eggs to be hatched by the sun. This is my supposition; no
matter whether I believe it myself or not. I will write against and abuse
any man that opposes my hypothesis. It would be fine indeed if learned
men were obliged to believe what they assert.
The other side of the mountain was inhabited by a nation of whom the
Larbidellians knew no more than the French nobility do of Great
Britain, which they think is an island that some how or other may be
approached by land. The princess had strayed into the confines of
Cucurucu, when she suddenly found herself seized by the guards of the
prince that reigned in that country. They told her in few words that she
must be conveyed to the capital and married to the giant their lord and
emperor. The giant, it seems, was fond of having a new wife every
night, who was to tell him a story that would last till morning, and then
have her head cut off--such odd ways have some folks of passing their
wedding-nights! The princess modestly asked, why their master loved
such long stories? The captain of the guard replied, his majesty did not
sleep well--Well! said she, and if he does not!--not but I believe I can
tell as long stories as any princess in Asia. Nay, I can repeat Leonidas
by heart, and your emperor must be wakeful indeed if he can hold out
against that.
By this time they were arrived at the palace. To the great surprise of the
princess, the emperor, so far from being a giant, was but five feet one
inch in height; but being two inches taller than any of his predecessors,
the flattery of his courtiers had bestowed the name of giant on him; and
he affected to look down upon any man above his own stature. The
princess was immediately undressed and put to bed, his majesty being
impatient to hear a new story.
Light of my eyes, said the emperor, what is your name? I call myself
the princess Gronovia, replied she; but my real appellation is the frow

Gronow. And what is the use of a name, said his majesty, but to be
called by it? And why do you pretend to be a princess, if you are not?
My turn is romantic, answered she, and I have ever had an ambition of
being the heroine of a novel. Now there are but two conditions that
entitle one to that rank; one must be a shepherdess or a princess. Well,
content yourself, said the giant, you will die an empress, without being
either the one or the other! But what sublime reason had you for
lengthening your name so unaccountably? It is a custom in my family,
said she: all my ancestors were learned men, who wrote about the
Romans. It sounded more classic, and gave a higher opinion of their
literature, to put a Latin termination to their names. All this is Japonese
to me, said the emperor; but your ancestors seem to have been a parcel
of mountebanks. Does one understand any thing the better for
corrupting one's name? Oh, said the princess, but it shewed taste too.
There was a time when in Italy the learned carried this still farther; and
a man with a large forehead, who was born on the fifth of January,
called himself Quintus Januarius Fronto. More and more absurd, said
the emperor. You seem to have a great deal of impertinent knowledge
about a great many impertinent people; but proceed in your story:
whence came you? Mynheer, said she, I was born in Holland--The
deuce you was, said the emperor, and where is that? It was no where,
replied the princess, spritelily, till my countrymen gained it from the
sea--Indeed, moppet! said his majesty; and pray who were your
countrymen, before you had any country? Your majesty asks a vey
shrewd question, said she, which I cannot resolve on a sudden; but I
will step home to my library,