Her Own Way | Page 5

I want to use about you!
[Follows GEORGIANA to table, moves chair to front, and sits.
GEORGIANA. Nonsense, Sam! Do you know anything about some stocks called United Copper?
COAST. Rotten! Don't touch it!
GEORGIANA. My brother had a tip this morning on United Copper and wanted me to give him some money to put in it.
COAST. Listen! don't you do it.
GEORGIANA. I wish you'd use your influence with Steven to help him.
COAST. How?
GEORGIANA. You must know how mad he is over speculation? But perhaps you don't know that he has gone through all his own money, and, if she'll let him, he'll go through his wife's next. [Smiling.] Then I suppose it would be my turn!
COAST. Why doesn't he keep out of it?
GEORGIANA. He can't, we must keep it out of him! Out of his blood!
COAST. There's only one way.
GEORGIANA. What?
COAST. Ruin him!
GEORGIANA. That's too anarchistic! You speculate.
COAST. But I always win!
GEORGIANA. Can't you teach him?
COAST. Listen, if I could do that, I'd be the richest man in the world before I got through.
GEORGIANA. Can't you give Steve a tip on some sure things?
COAST. There ain't any sure things.
GEORGIANA. Why, other friends of Steve are always "putting him on to something good."
COAST. And what happens?
GEORGIANA. [Smiling distressfully.] Well, he does lose, usually.
COAST. I guess so!
GEORGIANA. But you must often have inside information.
COAST. And how much is that worth?
[Takes up the false nose from table.
GEORGIANA. Well, it usually costs Steve all he has! But I thought you--
COAST. [Interrupting.] Miss Georgiana, you see this false nose?
GEORGIANA. Yes.
COAST. [Putting it on.] Well, now what do I look like?
GEORGIANA. [Laughing.] I shouldn't like to say!
COAST. Exactly! Well, see? That's what I'd be if I believed in tips and "inside information." If a man gives your brother a good tip, let him drop it like hot lead. People with a real good tip ain't giving it away. There's never enough to divide up and go around,--not in this world,--and inside information that gets told to a lamb like your brother is too damned outside information for me!
[He rises and moves away, half in irritation, half in humor.
GEORGIANA. Oh! Oh!
COAST. Pardon.
GEORGIANA. Are you as rich as people say?
COAST. Richer!
GEORGIANA. How did you get it?
COAST. I started my dough with a mine.
GEORGIANA. Why can't you put Steve into a mine?
COAST. [Laughing.] What's the use? he'll lose everything just as quick in Wall Street.
GEORGIANA. But I mean a good mine.
COAST. [Coming back to her.] Listen! I worked right in our mine with my father when I was only eight years old! That's why I ain't better educated--I worked for ten years there down in the dirt and muck!
GEORGIANA. [Interrupting.] And silver!
COAST. [Leaning on the back of the chair.] Yes, and silver. [Laughs.] Father's out there working yet--don't have to now, but he likes it; he ain't comfortable on top of the earth--says there's too much room. If father'd been a man like Mackay, I guess he'd been just as rich as him to-day.
GEORGIANA. And still you won't help Steve?
COAST. T'ain't business. [He puts back his chair and leans toward GEORGIANA, hand on table.] If helping him, mind you, would get you, I might take it on. [Humorously.] I'd pay even the price of Steve to buy you.
GEORGIANA. [Taking the false nose and putting it on.] Well, I'm not for sale. [Rises.] But I would like to dispose of Steven.
COAST. Go on, please take that blame thing off.
[Follows GEORGIANA across the room to the Left.
GEORGIANA. No, I like it! You must understand this about my brother. [Taking off the nose.] He is the dearest, best fellow in the world! kind-hearted and wouldn't do a thing that wasn't straightforward in business.
COAST. But you've got to be tricky if you want to succeed in our business. I don't mind telling you right out between us, I'm tricky!
GEORGIANA. I'm sorry to hear it.
COAST. Louise was a pretty good liar when she was a kid. She ought to help her husband along a little.
GEORGIANA. That's just it! if Steve had the right sort of wife,--but all Louise wants is social position and more money.
[She sits on the hobby horse, amusedly.]
COAST. If Louise was like you!
[GEORGIANA puts the nose on quickly and rocks.
GEORGIANA. Heaven forbid! The only trouble with Steve is he's weak. He'd have been all right if he'd been a girl--or married to a president of Sorosis, or a daughter of the Present Revolution!
COAST. Miss Georgiana, take off that nose and let me ask you something.
GEORGIANA. Not at all, my dear Sammy. I know what it is you want to ask me! I'm much obliged and I won't.
COAST. You won't marry me!
GEORGIANA. No!
COAST. Why not?
GEORGIANA. Because I don't love you.
COAST. Who do you love?
GEORGIANA. That's not your business!
COAST. Do you love any one?
GEORGIANA. [After a moment's hesitation, lies.] No!
COAST. [With insinuation.] Why don't you get