Her Own Way | Page 4

he, Aunt Georgiana?
GEORGIANA. Well, really! Miss Elaine Jackson--Mr. Coast.
ELAINE. [Embarrassed, rises, and curtseys.] How do you do?
COAST. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Hello, rest of you.
CHRISTOPHER and TOOTS. Hello!
CHRISTOPHER. Are you Auntie Georgiana's beau?
COAST. Yes!
GEORGIANA. Chris!
CHRISTOPHER. Lizzie says so!
LIZZIE. I never!
TOOTS, CHRISTOPHER, and PHILIP. Yes, you did! You did too! You did too!
LIZZIE. [To GEORGIANA.] I never did, miss!
PHILIP. Yes you did, you did too!
GEORGIANA. I hope you didn't, Lizzie. You may leave the children with me now.
LIZZIE. Yes, ma'am.
[LIZZIE, MOLES, and FOOTMAN go out at Right, each taking some plates, etc.
GEORGIANA. [To COAST.] I hope you don't mind.
COAST. Of course I don't. It's true as far as I'm concerned.
GEORGIANA. [Laughing.] It's not!
COAST. Listen, will you bet?
GEORGIANA. [Laughing.] Not before the children!
PHILIP. Come on, let's cut the cake!
GEORGIANA. Blow out the candles!
[All the children blow out the candles and then get down from the table.
COAST. And here's my contribution to the party.
[Brings out six big German mottoes from his pocket, and goes to table with them.
GEORGIANA. [In pretended excitement.] What? Mottoes!
ALL THE CHILDREN. [In delighted chorus.] Oh, mottoes!
PHILIP. Are those the silver mines?
COAST. No! Why?
[Laughing and handing the mottoes around, while GEORGIANA cuts the cake.
PHILIP. I heard grandma say the other day, you had pockets full of silver mines.
GEORGIANA. The cake's ready!
[All take a piece of cake. The children line up and down Centre from Right to Left: ELAINE, TOOTS, PHILIP, CHRISTOPHER.
COAST. Your motto!
[Handing one to GEORGIANA.
GEORGIANA. One for me too! Oh, thank you!
COAST. Certainly, because I want a bit of cake. I'm after that ring.
[Goes up back of table for cake.
GEORGIANA. Don't anybody swallow the ring.
[All eat the cake and now speak with their mouths full.
CHRISTOPHER. I haven't got it yet, Auntie.
ELAINE. Nor I.
GEORGIANA. Don't talk. Everybody eat till some one gets it!
TOOTS. [Crying.] I can't eat my cake! I can't eat my cake!
GEORGIANA. Why not, dear?
TOOTS. 'Cause I haven't got no place! I haven't got no place to put it!
[Crying.
PHILIP. He's full up!
GEORGIANA. Never mind, Toots, dear, you shall have a piece for supper.
TOOTS. Will I have room then?
CHRISTOPHER. [A sudden loud and frightened cry.] Oh! Oh!
ALL. What's the matter?
[All gather around CHRISTOPHER.
GEORGIANA. [Frightened.] What is it, Chris?
CHRISTOPHER. [Screaming.] Oh!
GEORGIANA. What is it, dear?
CHRISTOPHER. I've swallowed it!
ALL. What?
CHRISTOPHER. I've swallowed the ring!
ELAINE. That isn't fair!
PHILIP. Just like Chris, 'fraid some one else'd get it.
GEORGIANA. No, Chris, dear! [To COAST.] What will we do?
COAST. Chris has made a mistake, here is the ring! [Finding it in his own piece of cake.] There weren't two, were there?
GEORGIANA. No, that's the one!
CHRISTOPHER. [Smiling and greatly relieved.] Oh! I guess I 'magined it, then.
GEORGIANA. [Affectionately pretending to shake him.] Well, young man, you can imagine yourself spanked for giving us all a fright. Now, come along, the mottoes. [To COAST.] Of course the ring wasn't meant for you. What are you going to do with it?
COAST. Keep it.
GEORGIANA. No, you mustn't; it's the children's!
COAST. Philip, may I keep the ring?
PHILIP. [On the hobby horse.] Yes, sir.
COAST. And I'll give each one of you a ring in place of it. What kind will you have, Elaine?
[He makes movement towards each child as he asks the question.
ELAINE. One big pearl with two great big rubies.
GEORGIANA. Mercy! Small order!
COAST. Very well. And you, Phil?
PHILIP. I don't want any ring. I want a watch and chain.
COAST. Good! And you, Chris, do you want a ring?
CHRISTOPHER. I want a gun!
COAST. All right. [Writing.] And Toots?
TOOTS. Nanny goat!
[They all laugh. MOLES and FOOTMAN enter, answering the bell which GEORGIANA has rung.
GEORGIANA. The table, Moles.
MOLES. Yes, ma'am.
[Takes away small plates, etc.; he then goes out Right, followed by FOOTMAN, who takes everything else from the table, leaving only the cover and a false nose left from the mottoes.
PHILIP. [Crosses to GEORGIANA at table.] Grandma's been up and said we were all to go and see mamma.
GEORGIANA. Go in your mottoes; that will be great fun!
ALL THE CHILDREN. Oh, yes! Hurrah!
[Running off Left.
GEORGIANA. Ssh! Don't shout so; remember poor mamma's headache!
[All repeat, "Remember poor mamma's headache" and take hands as they tip-toe out, PHILIP first, ELAINE second, CHRIS third, TOOTS fourth, repeating "Poor mamma's headache" in a whisper till they are all out.
COAST. I can't get this damned thing on. Too bad Cousin Loo's ill.
GEORGIANA. Oh, she isn't really. Louise is never perfectly well and happy unless she has something the matter with her, especially if she has nothing else to do; she's bored to-day, so she's got a headache! To-night, when there's a big ball to which she is not invited, she'll be frightfully alarmed about herself for fear of appendicitis, but to-morrow, when we have smart company at luncheon, she'll recover like a shot! It's all right for Louise, but it's hard on my brother, who really adores her.
[She sits beside the table.
COAST. Adores! Say! That's the word