Handy Andy, Volume One | Page 4

what in country parlance is called "a brave
lump of a boy," his mother thought he was old enough to do something
for himself; so she took him one day along with her to the squire's, and
waited outside the door, loitering up and down the yard behind the
house, among a crowd of beggars and great lazy dogs, that were
thrusting their heads into every iron pot that stood outside the kitchen
door, until chance might give her "a sight o' the squire afore he wint out,
or afore he wint in;" and after spending her entire day in this idle way,
at last the squire made his appearance, and Judy presented her son, who
kept scraping his foot, and pulling his forelock, that stuck out like a
piece of ragged thatch from his forehead, making his obeisance to the
squire, while his mother was sounding his praises for being the
"handiest craythur alive--and so willin'--nothin' comes wrong to him."
[Illustration: Andy's introduction to the Squire]
"I suppose the English of all this is, you want me to take him?" said the
squire.

"Throth, an' your honour, that's just it--if your honour would be
plazed."
"What can he do?"
"Anything, your honour."
"That means nothing, I suppose," said the squire.
"Oh, no, sir. Everything, I mane, that you would desire him to do."
To every one of these assurances on his mother's part Andy made a
bow and a scrape.
"Can he take care of horses?"
"The best of care, sir," said the mother; while the miller who was
standing behind the squire, waiting for orders, made a grimace at Andy,
who was obliged to cram his face into his hat to hide the laugh, which
he could hardly smother from being heard, as well as seen.
"Let him come, then, and help in the stables, and we'll see what we can
do."
"May the Lord----"
"That'll do--there, now go."
"Oh, sure, but I'll pray for you, and----"
"Will you go?"
"And may the angels make your honour's bed this blessed night, I
pray."
"If you don't go, your son shan't come."
Judy and her hopeful boy turned to the right about in double-quick time,
and hurried down the avenue.

The next day Andy was duly installed into his office of stable-helper;
and, as he was a good rider, he was soon made whipper-in to the
hounds, for there was a want of such a functionary in the establishment;
and Andy's boldness in this capacity soon made him a favourite with
the squire, who was one of those rollicking boys on the pattern of the
old school, who scorned the attentions of a regular valet, and let any
one that chance threw in his way bring him his boots, or his hot water
for shaving, or his coat, whenever it was brushed. One morning, Andy,
who was very often the attendant on such occasions, came to his room
with hot water. He tapped at the door.
"Who's that?" said the squire, who had just risen, and did not know but
it might be one of the women servants.
"It's me, sir."
"Oh--Andy! Come in."
"Here's the hot water, sir," said Andy, bearing an enormous tin can.
"Why, what the d----l brings that enormous tin can here? You might as
well bring the stable bucket."
"I beg your pardon, sir," said Andy, retreating. In two minutes more
Andy came back, and, tapping at the door, put in his head cautiously,
and said, "The maids in the kitchen, your honour, say's there's not so
much hot water ready."
"Did I not see it a moment since in your hand?"
"Yes, sir; but that's not nigh the full o' the stable-bucket."
"Go along, you stupid thief! and get me some hot water directly."
"Will the can do, sir?"
"Ay, anything, so you make haste."
Off posted Andy, and back he came with the can.

"Where'll I put it sir?"
"Throw this out," said the squire, handing Andy a jug containing some
cold water, meaning the jug to be replenished with the hot.
Andy took the jug, and the window of the room being open, he very
deliberately threw the jug out. The squire stared with wonder, and at
last said--
"What did you do that for?"
"Sure you towld me to throw it out, sir."
"Go out of this, you thick-headed villain!" said the squire, throwing his
boots at Andy's head, along with some very neat curses. Andy retreated,
and thought himself a very ill-used person.
Though Andy's regular business was "whipper-in," yet he was liable to
be called on for the performance of various other duties: he sometimes
attended at table when the number of guests required that all the subs
should be put in requisition, or rode on some distant errand for the