Grimm Tales Made Gay

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Title: Grimm Tales Made Gay
Author: Guy Wetmore Carryl
Illustrator: Albert Levering
Release Date: October 13, 2007 [EBook #23024]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
? START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GRIMM TALES MADE GAY ***
Produced by David Edwards, Jacqueline Jeremy and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This?file was produced from images generously made available?by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
GRIMM TALES MADE GAY?By GUY WETMORE CARRYL
With GAY PICTURES?By ALBERT LEVERING
[Illustration: _This shows the sword that Blue-Beard used full sore,
After he'd led his young wife to a door._]
GRIMM TALES MADE GAY?By GUY WETMORE CARRYL
AUTHOR OF?THIS AND MANY OTHER THINGS!
[Illustration]
PICTURES BY?ALBERT LEVERING
ARTIST OF?THAT THE OTHER AND THIS
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BOSTON & NEW YORK?HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN & Co.
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COPYRIGHT, 1902, BY GUY?WETMORE CARRYL AND?ALBERT LEVERING?ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
_Published in October, 1902_
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TO CHARLES WALTON OGDEN
NOTE
_I have pleasure in acknowledging the courteous permission of the editors to reprint in this form such of these verses as were originally published in Harper's Magazine, The Century, Life, The Smart Set, The Saturday Evening Post, The Home Magazine, and the London Tatler.
G. W. C._
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The Contents
HOW THE BABES IN THE WOOD SHOWED THEY COULDN'T BE BEATEN
HOW FAIR CINDERELLA DISPOSED OF HER SHOE
HOW LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD CAME TO BE EATEN
HOW THE FATUOUS WISH OF A PEASANT CAME TRUE
HOW HOP O' MY THUMB GOT RID OF AN ONUS
HOW THE HELPMATE OF BLUE-BEARD MADE FREE WITH A DOOR
HOW RUMPLESTILZ HELD OUT IN VAIN FOR A BONUS
HOW JACK MADE THE GIANTS UNCOMMONLY SORE
HOW RUDENESS AND KINDNESS WERE JUSTLY REWARDED
HOW BEAUTY CONTRIVED TO GET SQUARE WITH THE BEAST
HOW A FAIR ONE NO HOPE TO HIS HIGHNESS ACCORDED
HOW THOMAS A MAID FROM A DRAGON RELEASED
HOW A BEAUTY WAS WAKED AND HER SUITOR WAS SUITED
HOW JACK FOUND THAT BEANS MAY GO BACK ON A CHAP
HOW A CAT WAS ANNOYED AND A POET WAS BOOTED
HOW MUCH FORTUNATUS COULD DO WITH A CAP
HOW A PRINCESS WAS WOOED FROM HABITUAL SADNESS
HOW A GIRL WAS TOO RECKLESS OF GRAMMAR BY FAR
HOW THE PEACEFUL ALADDIN GAVE WAY TO HIS MADNESS
HOW A FISHERMAN CORKED UP HIS FOE IN A JAR
ENVOI
_How the Babes in the Wood Showed They Couldn't be Beaten_
A man of kind and noble mind?Was H. Gustavus Hyde.?'Twould be amiss to add to this?At present, for he died,?In full possession of his senses,?The day before my tale commences.
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One half his gold his four-year-old?Son Paul was known to win,?And Beatrix, whose age was six,?For all the rest came in,?Perceiving which, their Uncle Ben did?A thing that people said was splendid.
For by the hand he took them, and?Remarked in accents smooth:?"One thing I ask. Be mine the task?These stricken babes to soothe!?My country home is really charming:?I'll teach them all the joys of farming."
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One halcyon week they fished his creek,?And watched him do the chores,?In haylofts hid, and, shouting, slid?Down sloping cellar doors:--?Because this life to bliss was equal?The more distressing is the sequel.
Concealing guile beneath a smile,?He took them to a wood,?And, with severe and most austere?Injunctions to be good,?He left them seated on a gateway,?And took his own departure straightway.
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Though much afraid, the children stayed?From ten till nearly eight;?At times they wept, at times they slept,?But never left the gate:?Until the swift suspicion crossed them?That Uncle Benjamin had lost them.
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Then, quite unnerved, young Paul observed:?"It's like a dreadful dream,?And Uncle Ben has fallen ten?Per cent. in my esteem.?Not only did he first usurp us,?But now he's left us here on purpose!"

For countless years their childish fears?Have made the reader pale,?For countless years the public's tears?Have started at the tale,?For countless years much detestation?Has been expressed for their relation.
So draw a veil across the dale?Where stood that ghastly gate.?No need to tell. You know full well?What was their touching fate,?And how with leaves each little dead breast?Was covered by a Robin Redbreast!
But when they found them on the ground,?Although their life had ceased,?Quite near to Paul there lay a small?White paper, neatly creased.?"_Because of lack of any merit,?B. Hyde_," it ran, "_we disinherit_!"
_The Moral_: If you deeply long?To punish one who's done you wrong,?Though in your lifetime fail you may,?Where there's a will, there is a way!
_How Fair Cinderella Disposed of Her Shoe_
The vainest girls in forty states?Were Gwendolyn and Gladys Gates;?They warbled, slightly off the air,?Romantic German songs,?And each of them upon her hair?Employed the curling tongs,?And each with ardor most intense?Her buxom figure laced,?Until her wilful want of sense?Procured a woeful waist:?For bound to marry titled mates?Were Gwendolyn and Gladys Gates.
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Yet, truth to tell, the swains were few?Of Gwendolyn (and Gladys, too).?So morning, afternoon,