Frosts Laws and By-Laws of American Society | Page 7

the part of the host and hostess to make introductions
amongst the guests; but guests may with perfect propriety introduce
friends to each other. Gentlemen must never introduce friends to ladies,
without first obtaining special permission to do so, and this permission
should be always granted, unless there is a very strong reason for the
refusal. The French, and in a great measure the English, dispense with
introductions at a private ball. It is taken for granted that the hostess has
invited to her ball only such people as are fit to be mutually acquainted,
and the fact that they have been invited to meet each other is a
sufficient warrant for self-introduction. This practice saves a great deal

of trouble, but it applies only to balls in private houses. At any public
ball, partners must be introduced to each other; indeed it is better for
ladies at such entertainments, to dance only with the gentlemen of their
own party, or with whom they had a previous acquaintance. Special
introductions may, however, be made with propriety by the master of
ceremonies.
When introducing two gentlemen, look first to the elder, or, if there is
any difference in social standing, to the superior, and with a slight bow
say to him: "Allow me to introduce my friend, Mr. Jones, to you;" then
turning to your friend, repeat his name, and follow it by that of the
gentleman to whom he is introduced, thus: "Mr. Smith, allow me to
introduce my friend, Mr. Jones, to you. Mr. Jones, Mr. Smith." In
introducing a gentleman to a lady, bow slightly to the latter, saying,
"Miss---, allow me to introduce Mr.---; Mr.---, (bowing to him)
Miss---."
When several persons are introduced to one, it is sufficient to name the
single individual once, repeating all the names of the others, thus: "Mr.
Johnson, allow me to introduce Mr. and Mrs. James, Miss Smithson,
Mr. Lewis, Mr. Johnson," bowing slightly to each when named.
Shaking hands after an introduction has taken place is merely optional,
not necessary; and is forbidden to an unmarried lady to whom a
gentleman is introduced. A bow is all that etiquette requires. In
introducing young persons to elder ones of good social standing, it is
often a kindly act of encouragement for the latter to shake hands, with a
few cordial words.
It is not necessary to introduce people who meet at your house on
morning calls, though it may be done with propriety if the introduction
has been previously ascertained to be mutually pleasant.
It is optional after such an introduction, with the parties introduced, to
continue or drop the acquaintance so formed. Without a formal
introduction, the merely meeting at the house of a mutual friend, does
not warrant any future recognition. It rests, however, after an
introduction with the lady, if between lady and gentleman, with the
married or elder lady, if between lady and lady, and with the elder, if
between gentlemen, to continue or drop the acquaintance.
Gentlemen who meet at the house or rooms of a mutual friend are not
obliged to recognize one another if they meet again elsewhere. There is

no rule forbidding their doing so, if agreeable to both parties, but there
is no requirement of etiquette obliging them to appear as if they had
even met before.
A lady is not obliged to afterwards recognize a partner with whom she
may have danced at a ball. It is entirely optional with her to do so or
not; and if she has danced several times with the gentlemen, it will be a
question between her and her conscience how far she may consider
herself justified in passing by without notice one who has extended to
her so much courtesy at a ball. Etiquette, however, does not require
even the slightest recognition.
When strangers in a city are introduced to residents it is customary to
name the place from which they come, thus: "Allow me to introduce to
you my friend Mr. Schmidt, from Germany. Mr. Schmidt, Mr.
Popking;" or if introducing a traveller, "Allow me to introduce my
friend Mr. Robinson, lately returned from Egypt." A pleasant opening
is thus offered for conversation, and a foreigner may have the pleasure
of a salutation in his own language.
An important duty in introducing friends is to pronounce the name of
each party clearly and distinctly, that no error or necessity for repetition
may occur.
It is often a positive kindness to take advantage of the etiquette which
dispenses with introductions at morning calls. Many a witty, talented
person has had a stupid bore pursue him upon such an introduction, and
even the one necessary conversation following an introduction is a
painful effort, owing to the entire uncongeniality of the parties
introduced.
A friend visiting at