Five Little Plays | Page 5

you choose to put it! I'm a--but never mind that!--Look here--you'd like me to stop?
BETTY. He wants to play bridge.
WALTER. Don't you think that I--
BETTY.[Hearing HECTOR _coming._] Sh.
[HECTOR _comes in--she is idly tossing the cards about._ HECTOR _has put on a smoking-jacket--he comes in, very jolly, fussing around, rubbing his hands, so glad to be home. He sits, to the right of_ BETTY.
HECTOR. Now for a game!
[_He seizes a pack, and spreads out the cards._
BETTY. [_Leaning back._] Not sure that I want to play.
HECTOR. Don't be disagreeable, Betty! Why?
BETTY. [_Listlessly, as she rises and moves across the room._] No fun, being three.
HECTOR. Good practice for you. Come on.
BETTY. [_Leaning against the other table, and turning and facing them._] Besides, he has something to tell you.
HECTOR. Walter?
BETTY. Yes.
HECTOR. [Looking inquiringly at WALTER.] To tell _me?_ What is it?
BETTY. That he's engaged.
HECTOR. [_Shouting, as he leans across the table._] Never! Walter! Engaged? You?
WALTER. [_Nervously._] Yes.
HECTOR. [_Noisily and affectionately._] You old scoundrel! You rascal and villain! Engaged--and you don't come and tell me first! Well I--am--damned!
WALTER. [_Trying to take it gaily._] I knew you'd chaff me about it.
HECTOR. Chaff you! Silly old coon! why I'm glad! Of course we shall miss you--but marriage--it's the only thing, my boy--the only thing! Who is she? Do I know her?
WALTER. [_Mumbling, as he fingers the cards._] A friend of Betty's--I fancy you've met her--
HECTOR. Who?
BETTY. Mary Gillingham. We're the first to know--he only proposed to-day.
HECTOR. Gillingham, Gillingham.... Oh yes, I've seen her, just seen her, but I don't remember.... I say, not the daughter of the sealing-wax man?
WALTER. Yes.
HECTOR. Then there's lots of tin! Fine! Oh you artful old dodger! Is she pretty?
WALTER. So-So.
BETTY. [_Still leaning against the table, and looking at them both._] She's excessively pretty. She has yellow hair and blue eyes.
HECTOR. [_Chuckling._] And she has caught old Wallie. The cynical old Wallie who sniffed at women! Though perhaps it's the money--
BETTY. No. He's in love with her.
HECTOR. That's good. I'm glad. And I congratulate you--heartily, my boy. [He seizes WALTER'S _hand, and wrings it._] We must drink to it! [_He gets up, goes to the side-table, and pours some whiskey into a tumbler._] Charge your glass, Walter! [WALTER _rises and goes to the side-table._] Ladies and gentlemen. I give you the bride and bridegroom! [He fills the glass from the syphon and passes it to WALTER, _then proceeds to fill his own._] Betty, you must join us.
BETTY. [_Quietly._] No.
HECTOR. You can't toast him in water, of course. Has she cleared away yet? I'll get you some Hock.
[_He puts his glass down and moves to the door at back._
BETTY. Don't be so silly. I won't drink at all.
HECTOR. [_Amazed._] Not to old Walter?
BETTY. [_Steadily._] No.
HECTOR. Why?
BETTY. [_Almost jeeringly._] Because--old Walter--has been my lover.
HECTOR. [_Stopping, and staring at her._] What?
BETTY. [_Calmly, looking full at him._] My lover ... these last two years.
HECTOR. [_Staring stupidly at her._] He has been--
BETTY. [_Impatiently, as she taps the floor with her foot._] Yes, yes. How often must I tell you? My lover--don't you know what that means? Why do you stare at me with those fat goggle-eyes of yours? He has been my lover--and now he has fallen in love with this girl and means to marry her. That's all.
HECTOR. [Turning towards WALTER, _who hasn't stirred from the side-table._] What? You?
[WALTER _remains motionless and silent._
HECTOR. [_In muffled tones, scarcely able to speak._] You! It's true what this woman says?
BETTY. [_Contemptuously._] This woman! Don't be so melodramatic! Have you forgotten my name?
HECTOR. [_Turning fiercely to her, roaring madly._] Silence, Jezebel! [_She shrinks back, in alarm, towards the fire._] Your name! Wait a bit, I'll tell you! [_He takes a step towards her--she crouches in terror against the wall._] You shall hear what your name is! Just now I'm dealing with _him._ [He swings round to WALTER.] You there, you skunk and thief! You, you lying hound! I was your best friend. So you've taken my wife, have you? And now mean to go off and marry this girl. That's it? Oh, it's so simple! Here--come here--sit down. Sit down, I tell you. Here, in this chair. Shall I have to drag you to it? I want to keep my hands off you. Here. [WALTER _has moved slowly towards him._ HECTOR _has banged down a chair behind the centre table,_ WALTER _sits in it_--HECTOR speaks over his shoulder to BETTY.] And you--fetch pen and ink and paper--
BETTY. [_In abject panic._] Hector--
HECTOR. [_Turning fiercely and scowling at her._] If you speak to me I'll brain you too. Just you go in there and fetch the things. D'you hear? Go. [_She moves into the other room._ HECTOR swings round to WALTER.] As for you, you're a scoundrel. A rogue, a thief, a liar, a traitor. Of the very worst kind, the blackest. Not