want to needlessly drive off what could be a really great thing?
Why does it induce uncertainty? Well, NOT from what is stated but from what is clearly
MISSING from the communication. Nowhere in there does she say, "I really do want to see you
... how is Friday, 7:30 ... I'll come pick you up at your place ... in fact, I'm bringing dinner! Dress
cozy!"
The solution? Here's what I suggested he do:
Try writing her back THIS:
Dear Michelle,
Thanks for your email. While I appreciate you can't make it, what I do NOT see in your
email is any kind of positive statement that getting together IS something you really DO
want to do.
Since I am sure you are NOT the kind of person whose intent is to cause doubt or confu-
sion, could you please let me know if it's prudent for me to write this off or if you are
someone who really does see the value in spending some time together. I don't want to
read into things but I also only want to set my foot where I am sincerely welcomed. I'm
sure you can appreciate that as sensible and smart.
Have a good Holiday,
Let's go through this:
1. Right off, he is calling her on what is MISSING ... he's commenting on the communication and
calling her on what she DELIBERATELY left out! He's saying, "Hey ... I’m MUCH more savvy
than the average guy, honey! I can see what is MOST important is ahat you are NOT saying ..."
... He never SAYS that, but it is STRONGLY implied!
2. He is now saying to her, "Hey are you DELIBERATELY trying to cause doubt or confusion?
What you are doing is actually DESTRUCTIVE, but here is your chance to PROVE to ME that
YOU are better than that ... aren't. you?" It is now about HER behavior and HER being put on
the spot to prove HERSELF to HIM!
3. He's giving her TWO choices: Should I write you off or do you want to get together? That's it ...
I won't hang on and chase after you like the BOYS you are used to!
4. He's giving her two TOTALLY valid reasons that she HAS to agree with ... who wants to read
into something or go where they are not welcomed? Is SHE mature enough to agree with these
motives or just a kid? Hence the "sensible and smart” … HE is sensible and smart … is SHE?
Note this is ALL polite … no nastiness … Just APPARENTLY direct … ha ha!
Here was her response:
Here's the response that came back. The poetry she refers to is the "Essence" poem I sent
a few days ago. Let me know if I fucked up by sending the poem too soon, or if you think
that she's just a ho. Ho, HO, Ho.
"Hi XXXX,
Well ... let's see where should I begin? I guess I should just say that your email pretty much
confirmed my apprehension about wanting to continue anything here.
Translation: It was NEVER about some bullshit having to work for her boss! That was all crap!
She's actually fessing up but throwing it out in a somewhat point the finger at him manner.
While I can appreciate your openness, passion, and talent for writing poetry, I felt it a bit
pretentious of you to send such poignant prose to someone you have met only briefly over
a soda.
Translation: Being open with someone scares her! Obviously because SHE is incapable of it!
This is really a confession about herself, not an accusation about him!
I guess I am a bit more reserved and move at a slower pace. So I am a little put off by all
of this.
Translation: I lied about that stuff with my boss ... ...
But regardless of what I'm feeling, I know I shouldn’t have canceled on you like I did. I
apologize for causing any trouble to you.
Translation: Why shouldn't she have cancelled IF THE EXCUSE WERE TRUE? She is really
confessing here that it was a load of bull and a lie. What she really is saying is, "Hey … ya caught
me … I feel dumb … sorry!
Now ... when was the last time a chick EVER said that to you? She's confessed her bullshit and
revealed to him she is a waste of time ... he's saved and preserved his time, focus and morale ...
But we aren't done ... here's what I suggested he send to her NEXT:
ONE more to pull on this chick:
Write her the following:
Dear So and So,
Thanks for your email and let me just say, I understand perfectly
![](qr/13534/3.png)
Continue reading on your phone by scaning this QR Code
Tip: The current page has been bookmarked automatically. If you wish to continue reading later, just open the
Dertz Homepage, and click on the 'continue reading' link at the bottom of the page.