Fantastic Fables | Page 4

Dame Fortune and the Traveller The Victor
and the Victim The Wolf and the Shepherds The Goose and the Swan
The Lion, the Cock, and the Ass The Snake and the Swallow The
Wolves and the Dogs The Hen and the Vipers A Seasonable Joke The
Lion and the Thorn The Fawn and the Buck The Kite, the Pigeons, and
the Hawk The Wolf and the Babe The Wolf and the Ostrich The
Herdsman and the Lion The Man and the Viper The Man and the Eagle
The War-horse and the Miller The Dog and the Reflection The Man
and the Fish-horn The Hare and the Tortoise Hercules and the Carter
The Lion and the Bull The Man and his Goose The Wolf and the
Feeding Goat Jupiter and the Birds The Lion and the Mouse The Old
Man and his Sons The Crab and his Son The North Wind and the Sun
The Mountain and the Mouse The Bellamy and the Members
Old Saws with New Teeth
The Wolf and the Crane The Lion and the Mouse The Hares and the
Frogs The Belly and the Members The Piping Fisherman The Ants and
the Grasshopper The Dog and His Reflection The Lion, the Bear, and
the Fox The Ass and the Lion's Skin The Ass and the Grasshoppers The
Wolf and the Lion The Hare and the Tortoise The Milkmaid and Her
Bucket King Log and King Stork The Wolf Who Would Be a Lion The
Monkey and the Nuts The Boys and the Frogs

The Moral Principle and the Material Interest

A MORAL Principle met a Material Interest on a bridge wide enough
for but one.
"Down, you base thing!" thundered the Moral Principle, "and let me
pass over you!"
The Material Interest merely looked in the other's eyes without saying
anything.
"Ah," said the Moral Principle, hesitatingly, "let us draw lots to see
which shall retire till the other has crossed."
The Material Interest maintained an unbroken silence and an
unwavering stare.
"In order to avoid a conflict," the Moral Principle resumed, somewhat
uneasily, "I shall myself lie down and let you walk over me."
Then the Material Interest found a tongue, and by a strange coincidence
it was its own tongue. "I don't think you are very good walking," it said.
"I am a little particular about what I have underfoot. Suppose you get
off into the water."
It occurred that way.

The Crimson Candle

A MAN lying at the point of death called his wife to his bedside and
said:
"I am about to leave you forever; give me, therefore, one last proof of
your affection and fidelity, for, according to our holy religion, a
married man seeking admittance at the gate of Heaven is required to
swear that he has never defiled himself with an unworthy woman. In
my desk you will find a crimson candle, which has been blessed by the
High Priest and has a peculiar mystical significance. Swear to me that

while it is in existence you will not remarry."
The Woman swore and the Man died. At the funeral the Woman stood
at the head of the bier, holding a lighted crimson candle till it was
wasted entirely away.

The Blotted Escutcheon and the Soiled Ermine

A BLOTTED Escutcheon, rising to a question of privilege, said:
"Mr. Speaker, I wish to hurl back an allegation and explain that the
spots upon me are the natural markings of one who is a direct
descendant of the sun and a spotted fawn. They come of no accident of
character, but inhere in the divine order and constitution of things."
When the Blotted Escutcheon had resumed his seat a Soiled Ermine
rose and said:
"Mr. Speaker, I have heard with profound attention and entire approval
the explanation of the honourable member, and wish to offer a few
remarks on my own behalf. I, too, have been foully calumniated by our
ancient enemy, the Infamous Falsehood, and I wish to point out that I
am made of the fur of the MUSTELA MACULATA, which is dirty
from birth."

The Ingenious Patriot

HAVING obtained an audience of the King an Ingenious Patriot pulled
a paper from his pocket, saying:
"May it please your Majesty, I have here a formula for constructing
armour-plating which no gun can pierce. If these plates are adopted in
the Royal Navy our warships will be invulnerable, and therefore

invincible. Here, also, are reports of your Majesty's Ministers, attesting
the value of the invention. I will part with my right in it for a million
tumtums."
After examining the papers, the King put them away and promised him
an order on the Lord High Treasurer of the Extortion Department for a
million tumtums.
"And here," said the