Fables For The Times | Page 3

also in
evidence."
And he took a dose of bromide and commended himself again to sleep,
while the serpent withdrew in some confusion.
WHAT THIS PROVES TO A THINKING MIND:
Jove himself couldn't get a job as Sunday-School Superintendent on his
reputation.
[Illustration: The Man and the Serpent.]

The Appreciative Man.
A man stood in the archway of an ancient temple. He took in the
wonderful proportions and drank of the exquisite detail in an ecstasy of
delight.
"Oh, great is art!" he cried in a frenzy. "Art is all! the only God!"
Just then an earthquake came mumbling along and jarred the whole
country loose.
As the man picked himself out of the jumbled-up ruins into the
dust-filled air, he encountered a lion who had lost his tail and his
temper in the mélée.
"Well, where's your art now?" snarled the lion.[1]

"All in my eye, I reckon," answered the man, as he bathed his damaged
optic.
[Illustration: The Appreciative Man.]

On the Not-Altogether-Credible Habits of the Ostrich.
An ostrich, who was closely pursued by a hunter, suddenly thrust his
head deep down into the sand.
"Ah! ah!" exulted the hunter, "I have the silly thing at last." He
advanced to place a rope around the bird's legs; but the ostrich, who
had accurately timed his arrival, landed a kick in the pit of his stomach
that sent him into the hereafter like a bullet through a fog-bank.
IMMORAL:
"Umph," said the ostrich as he surveyed his victim, "because a man
looks sad at the opening of a jack-pot, it doesn't necessarily follow that
he's only got ace-high."
[Illustration: On the Not-Altogether-Credible Habits of the Ostrich.]

The Idol and the Ass.
An ass felt it his duty to destroy superstition, so he went up to the brass
idol in the market-place and gave it a vigorous kick.
A dog came to him as he lay groaning on the ground, nursing his
broken leg, and said, "Well, did you prove anything?"
"Nothing," said the other. "Except that I am an ass."
Deductions to be drawn: Any old thing.
[Illustration: The Idol and the Ass.]

The Bee and Jupiter.
A Bee, the queen of all the hives, ascended to Olympus with a present
of some super-refined honey for Jupiter.
The god was delighted with the honey, and in return offered to grant
any request the Bee might make.
"Give to me, I pray, O Lord of the Heavens! a sting, that, small and
weak as I am, I may not be defenceless against my enemies."
Jupiter was quite put out at this demand, as he knew the weapon would
be used principally against mankind, whom he much loved. But a god's
promise must be kept, so he said:
"It is granted you."
"Many thanks, most potent one!" cried the Bee, running the new-gained
weapon in and out with much satisfaction.
Jupiter sternly cut short her thanks, and continued:
"In using this means of defense and offense you will imperil your own
life, for the sting shall remain in the wound it makes and you shall die
from the loss of it."
The Bee flew around for a moment, and then lit on the back of the god's
neck.
"You will kindly reconsider that last clause," she said, "or," in a very
meaning tone, "I die right here."
Jupiter felt a cold chill take its agitated way up his spinal column.
"All right," he said, hastily. "I don't want to be small about it. Have it
your own way. Only please get off my neck!"

The Bee went joyously back to earth, humming a song of praise.
IMMORAL:
How to play a cinch (Hoyle). "Put both feet on the encircled object.
Rosin the hands, take a long breath and Pull."
[Illustration: The Bee and Jupiter.]

The Lion and the Boar.
One Sunday, when the new administration had induced a general thirst,
a lion and a boar came at the same moment to a corner spring to drink.
"Have one with me," said the lion. "No, sir; this is on me," said the boar.
From words they came to blows, and while they were in the press of
combat the clock struck one A.M. and they had to go home cold-sober
and disgusted.
IMMORAL:
Reform is just the thing for angels.
[Illustration: The Lion and the Boar.]

The Tiger and the Deer.
One day a tiger, who had grown remorseful over his murderous career,
resolved to turn over a new leaf and live on terms of friendly interest
with the other animals of the forest.
He started out on a campaign of pacification. The first animal he met
was the deer, whom he addressed in the most courteous and beautiful of
language, assuring him of his undying affection.
"Bunco!" yelled the