Droll Stories, vol 2 | Page 8

but a
quarter of a loaf and an apple.'
"Then the good man, who had no confidence in his memory, went
home, repeating to himself the penance ordered. But having loyally
commenced with a quarter of a loaf and an apple, he arrived at home,
saying, a quarter of apples, and a loaf.
"Then, to purify his soul, he set about accomplishing his fast, and his
good woman having given him a loaf from the safe, and unhooked a
string of apples from the beam, he set sorrowfully to work. As he
heaved a sigh on taking the last mouthful of bread hardly knowing
where to put it, for he was full to the chin, his wife remonstrated with
him, that God did not desire the death of a sinner, and that for lack of
putting a crust of bread in his belly, he would not be reproached for
having put things in their wrong places.
"'Hold your tongue, wife!' said he. 'If it chokes me, I must fast.'"
"I've payed my share, it's your turn, Viscount," added he of Anjou,
giving the Picardian a knowing wink.
"The goblets are empty. Hi, there! More wine."
"Let us drink," cried the Picardian. "Moist stories slip out easier."
At the same time he tossed off a glassful without leaving a drop at the
bottom, and after a preliminary little cough, he related the following:--
"You must know that the maids of Picardy, before setting up
housekeeping, are accustomed honestly to gain their linen, vessels, and
chests; in short, all the needed household utensils. To accomplish this,

they go into service in Peronne, Abbeville, Amiens, and other towns,
where they are tire-women, wash up glasses, clean plates, fold linen,
and carry up the dinner, or anything that there is to be carried. They are
all married as soon as they possess something else besides that which
they naturally bring to their husbands. These women are the best
housewives, because they understand the business and everything else
thoroughly. One belonging to Azonville, which is the land of which I
am lord by inheritance, having heard speak of Paris, where the people
did not put themselves out of the way for anyone, and where one could
subsist for a whole day by passing the cook's shops, and smelling the
steam, so fattening was it, took it into her head to go there. She trudged
bravely along the road, and arrived with a pocket full of emptiness.
There she fell in, at the Porte St. Denise, with a company of soldiers,
placed there for a time as a vidette, for the Protestants had assumed a
dangerous attitude. The sergeant seeing this hooded linnet coming,
stuck his headpiece on one side, straightened his feather, twisted his
moustache, cleared his throat, rolled his eyes, put his hand on his hips,
and stopped the Picardian to see if her ears were properly pierced, since
it was forbidden to girls to enter otherwise into Paris. Then he asked
her, by way of a joke, but with a serious face, what brought her there,
he pretending to believe she had come to take the keys of Paris by
assault. To which the poor innocent replied, that she was in search of a
good situation, and had no evil intentions, only desiring to gain
something.
"'Very well; I will employ you,' said the wag. 'I am from Picardy, and
will get you taken in here, where you will be treated as a queen would
often like to be, and you will be able to make a good thing of it.'
"Then he led her to the guard-house, where he told her to sweep the
floor, polish the saucepans, stir the fire, and keep a watch on everything,
adding that she should have thirty sols a head from the men if their
service pleased her. Now seeing that the squad was there for a month,
she would be able to gain ten crowns, and at their departure would find
fresh arrivals who would make good arrangements with her, and by this
means she would be able to take back money and presents to her people.
The girl cleaned the room and prepared the meals so well, singing and

humming, that this day the soldiers found in their den the look of a
monk's refectory. Then all being well content, each of them gave a sol
to their handmaiden. Well satisfied, they put her into the bed of their
commandant, who was in town with his lady, and they petted and
caressed her after the manner of philosophical soldiers, that is, soldiers
partial to that which is good. She was soon comfortably ensconced
between the sheets. But to avoid quarrels and strife, my noble warriors
drew lots for their turn, arranged themselves in single file, playing