Debts of Honor | Page 2

occasions
proved that there was no lack of them. That every one had a feeling of
high esteem for us I could tell by the respectful greetings addressed to
us from every direction.
[Footnote 1: In Hungary persons celebrate the name-day of the saint
after whom they are called with perhaps more ceremony than their
birthday.]
My father was a very serious man; quiet and not talkative. He had a
pale face, a long black beard, and thick eyebrows. Sometimes he
contracted his eyebrows, and then we might have been afraid of him;
but his idea always was, that nobody should fear him; not more than
once a year did it happen that he cast an angry look at some one.
However, I never saw him in a good humor. On the occasion of our
most festive banquets, when our guests were bursting into peals of
laughter at sprightly jests, he would sit there at the end of the table as
one who heard naught. If dear mother leaned affectionately on his
shoulder, or Lorand kissed his face, or if I nestled to his breast and
plied him, in child-guise, with queries on unanswerable topics, at such
a time his beautiful, melancholy eyes would beam with such
inexpressible love, such enchanting sweetness would well out from

them! But a smile came there never at any time, nor did any one cause
him to laugh.
He was not one of those men who, when wine or good humor
unloosens their tongue, become loquacious, and tell all that lies hidden
in their heart, speak of the past and future, chatter and boast. No, he
never used gratuitous words. There was some one else in our family
just as serious, our grandmother; she was just as taciturn, just as careful
about contracting her thick eyebrows, which were already white at that
time; just as careful about uttering words of anger; just as incapable of
laughing or even smiling. I often remarked that her eyes were fixed
unremittingly on his face; and sometimes I found myself possessed of
the childish idea that my father was always so grave in his behavior
because he knew that his mother was gazing at him. If afterward their
eyes met by chance, it seemed as if they had discovered each other's
thoughts--some old, long-buried thoughts, of which they were the
guardians; and I often saw how my old grandmother would rise from
her everlasting knitting, and come to father as he sat among us thus
abstracted, scarce remarking that mother, Lorand, and I were beside
him, caressing and pestering him; she would kiss his forehead, and his
countenance would seem to change in a moment: he would become
more affectionate, and begin to converse with us; thereupon
grandmother would kiss him afresh and return to her knitting.
It is only now that I recall all these incidents. At that time I found
nothing remarkable in them.
One evening our whole family circle was surprised by the unusually
good humor that had come over father. To each one of us he was very
tender, very affectionate; entered into a long conversation with Lorand,
asked him of his school-work, imparted to him information on subjects
of which as yet he had but a faulty knowledge; took me on his knee and
smoothed my head; addressed questions to me in Latin, and praised me
for answering them correctly; kissed our dear mother more than once,
and after supper was over related merry tales of the old days. When we
began to laugh at them, he laughed too. It was such a pleasure to me to
have seen my father laugh once. It was such a novel sensation that I

almost trembled with joy.
Only our old grandmother remained serious. The brighter father's face
became, the more closely did those white eyebrows contract. Not for a
single moment did she take her eyes off father's face; and, as often as
he looked at her with his merry, smiling countenance, a cold shudder
ran through her ancient frame. Nor could she let father's unusual gayety
pass without comment.
"How good-humored you are to-day, my son!"
"To-morrow I shall take the children to the country," he answered; "the
prospect of that has always been a source of great joy to me."
We were to go to the country! The words had a pleasant sound for us
also. We ran to father, to kiss him for his kindness; how happy he had
made us by this promise! His face showed that he knew it well.
"Now you must go to bed early, so as not to oversleep in the morning;
the carriage will be here at daybreak."
To go to bed is only too easy, but to fall asleep is difficult when one is
still a child,