De Turkey and De Law | Page 7

with gun on shoulder)
DAISY Oh lemme see if I got a letter in de postoffice (She exits into store)
JIM He better git for home fore ah bust dis box over his head.
2nd WOMAN (Jenny) (Grabbing Lige) Aw, don't worry bout Dave Carter. Play us some music so I kin make Lige buy me some soda water. (She is playfully dragging Lige towards the door). Jenny you grab Walter.
(Walter makes a break to jump off the porch and run. The woman catches him and there is a very gay bit of tussling as the men are dragged towards the door)
1st WOMAN (Miss Lulu) I bet if this was Daisy, they'd uh done halted inside and toted out half de store.
JENNY Yeah. (gets Walter to the door) Everything you hear is Daisy, Daisy, Daisy! Just cause she got a walk on her like she done gone crazy thru de hips! (Yanks Walter into the door) Yeah, y'all goin treat us. Come on!
WALTER Yeah, but Daisy's uh young pullet and you gittin gray headed.
JENNY Thank God I aint gray elsewhere! Come right on. You gointer buy me some soda water nigger. (to Jim) Play us some music, Jim, so we kin grand march up to de counter.
JIM I can't play nothin--mad as I is. I'm one minute to boilin and two minutes to steam. I smell blood!
MISS LULU You don't want to fight, do you?
JIM Sho do. You aint never seen a Weston yet dat wouldn't fight, have you?
LIGE Thats whut they all got run outa town for--fightin. (Calls into store) Hey, Joe, give Jenny and Lulu some soda water and ground peas on me so they'll turn us loose. (to Jim) Yeah, y'all Westons blieves in fightin.
JIM Ahd ruther get run out for fightin than to be uh coward. (He slings the guitar round his neck an' picks up his box of shells.) Well, Ah reckon Ah'll go git Daisy her turkey cause she sho wont git none less Ah go git it. Here come Elder Simms anyhow now taint no mo' pickin de box. (to Daisy) Don't git lonesome whilst Ahm gone.
(Enter Daisy from the store smiling, and walks down to where Jim is standing)
DAISY Whuts all dis talk about fightin?
JIM Lige throwin it up to me bout all my folks been run outa town for fightin. But I don't keer!
DAISY Mah mouf done got lonesome already. Buy me some chewing gum to keep mah mouf comp'ny till y'all gits back wid dat turkey.
JIM Don't hafta buy none. (reaches in his pocket and pulls out a stick) What it takes tuh satisfy de ladies, Ah totes it. (He hands her the gum tenderly) 'By, Daisy. (He walks to left exit)
DAISY (Coyly) Bye, till you come back.
(Enter Elder Simms right)
Good evenin' everybody.
ALL Good evenin', Elder Sims.
LUM (Getting up from his seat on the porch) Have mah seat, Elder. Sims takes it with a sigh of pleasure. Lum steps off the porch and sets his hat over one eye) Say, Daisy, you aint goin to sprain yo' lil mouf on dat tough chewin gum, is yuh? Not wid de help you got. Better lemme kinda tender dat gum up for yuh so yo' lil mouf won't hafta strain wid it. (He places himself exactly in front of her. She glances up coyly at him)
DAISY Ain't you crazy, now? (Lum tries to snatch the gum but she pops it into her mouth and laughs as he seizes her hands.
LUM You don't need no gum to keep yo' mouf company wid me around. Ahm all de compny yo' mouf need. Ahm sweet papa chewin and sweetness change.
DAISY Tell dat to Bootsie Pitts, you cant fool me. (turns right) Guess Ah better go home and see mama. Ah ain't been round since Ah come from de white folk. You goin walk round there wid me?
LUM Naw, Ah aint gointer walk. When Ahm wid de angels ah puts on mah hosanna wings and flies round heben lak de rest. (He falls in beside her and catches her elbow) Less go! (to the porch) See you later and tell you straighter.
LINDSAY Don't stay round to Daisy's too long, Lum, and get run out from under yo' hat!
LUM Who run?
HAMBO Taint no use in you hollerin "who". Yo' feet don't fit no limb. (General laughter) (Exit Lum and Daisy right)
WALTER Lawd! Daisy sho is propaganda. She really handles a lot of traffic. Ah don't blame de boys. If Ah was uh single man Ah'd be round there myself.
LIGE Ahm willin tuh serve some time on her gang as it is, but mah wife won't lissen to reason. (Laughter) Ah tries to show her dis deep point where taint right for one woman to be harboring uh whole man all to herself when theres heaps uh po' young girls aint