Count Fathom, part 2 | Page 9

another with brimstone, till one of us should
give out. Accordingly we crammed half a dozen tobacco pipes with
sulphur, and, setting foot to foot, began to smoke, and kept a constant
fire, until Macmorris dropped down; then I threw away my pipe, and
taking poor Murphy in my arms, 'What, are you dead?' said I; 'if you
are dead, speak.' 'No, by Jesus!' cried he, 'I an't dead, but I'm
speechless.' So he owned I had obtained the victory, and we were as
good friends as ever. Now, if Mr. Minikin thinks proper to put the
affair upon the same issue, I will smoke a pipe of brimstone with him
to-morrow morning, and if I cry out first, I will be after asking pardon
for this supposed affront."
Fathom could not help laughing at the proposal, to which, however, he
objected on account of Minikin's delicate constitution, which might

suffer more detriment from breathing in an atmosphere of sulphur than
from the discharge of a pistol, or the thrust of a small sword. He
therefore suggested another expedient in lieu of the sulphur, namely,
the gum called assafatida, which, though abundantly nauseous, could
have no effect upon the infirm texture of the lieutenant's lungs. This
hint being relished by the major, our adventurer returned to his
principal, and having repeated the other's arguments against the use of
mortal instruments, described the succedaneum which he had concerted
with Macleaver. The captain at first believed the scheme was calculated
for subjecting him to the ridicule of his fellow-prisoners, and began to
storm with great violence; but, by the assurances and address of
Fathom, he was at length reconciled to the plan, and preparations were
made on each side for this duel, which was actually smoked next day,
about noon, in a small closet, detached from the challenger's apartment,
and within hearing of his majesty, and all his court, assembled as
witnesses and umpires of the contest.
The combatants, being locked up together, began to ply their engines
with great fury, and it was not long before Captain Minikin perceived
he had a manifest advantage over his antagonist. For his organs were
familiarised to the effluvia of this drug, which he had frequently used
in the course of an hypochondriac disorder; whereas Macleaver, who
was a stranger to all sorts of medicine, by his wry faces and attempts to
puke, expressed the utmost abhorrence of the smell that invaded his
nostrils. Nevertheless, resolved to hold out to the last extremity, he
continued in action until the closet was filled with such an intolerable
vapour as discomposed the whole economy of his entrails, and
compelled him to disgorge his breakfast in the face of his opponent,
whose nerves were so disconcerted by this disagreeable and unforeseen
discharge, that he fell back into his chair in a swoon, and the major
bellowed aloud for assistance. The door being opened, he ran directly
to the window, to inhale the fresh air, while the captain, recovering
from his fit, complained of Macleaver's unfair proceeding, and
demanded justice of the arbitrators, who decided in his favour; and the
major being prevailed upon to ask pardon for having introduced Mrs.
Minikin to women of rotten reputation, the parties were reconciled to
each other, and peace and concord re-established in the mess.

Fathom acquired universal applause for his discreet and humane
conduct upon this occasion; and that same afternoon had an opportunity
of seeing the lady in whose cause he had exerted himself. He was
presented to her as the husband's particular friend, and when she
understood how much she was indebted to his care and concern for the
captain's safety, she treated him with uncommon marks of distinction;
and he found her a genteel, well-bred woman, not without a good deal
of personal charms, and a well-cultivated understanding.
CHAPTER FORTY
-TWO
AN UNEXPECTED RENCONTRE, AND A HAPPY REVOLUTION
IN THE AFFAIRS OF OUR ADVENTURER.
As she did not lodge within the precincts of this garrison, she was one
day, after tea, conducted to the gate by the captain and the Count, and
just as they approached the turnkey's lodge, our hero's eyes were struck
with the apparition of his old companion Renaldo, son of his benefactor
and patron, the Count de Melvil. What were the emotions of his soul,
when he saw that young gentleman enter the prison, and advance
towards him, after having spoke to the jailor! He never doubted that,
being informed of his confinement, he was come to upbraid him with
his villany and ingratitude, and he in vain endeavoured to recollect
himself from that terror and guilty confusion which his appearance had
inspired; when the stranger, lifting up his eyes, started back with signs
of extreme amazement, and, after a considerable pause, exclaimed,
"Heaven and earth!