Complete Idiots Guide To Amazing Sex | Page 9

an Orgasm     
To Relieve Tension     
To Help Fall Asleep     
To Make Someone
Jealous     
To Please Someone     
To Cheat     
To Feel Sexy     
To Procrastinate     

To Make Up After a
Fight     
For Experience     
How Often Do You
Meet a Movie Star?     
To Feel Powerful     
To Get Over Boredom     
(table continued on next page)

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(table continued from previous page)
SOME REASONS
WHY YOU MAY
HAVE SEX THIS WOULD NEVER
BE A GOOD REASON
FOR YOU TO HAVE
SEX THIS WOULD
DEFINITELY BE A
GOOD REASON FOR
YOU TO HAVE SEXTHIS MIGHT
POSSIBLY BE A
GOOD REASON
SOMEDAY
To Try New Positions
     
Because You Are in an
Interesting Location     
For Money     
Because You Have a Big
Crush     
To Get Over a Big
Crush on Someone Else     
To Talk About It Later     
For Physical Pleasure     
Sex will be truly amazing if you have sex for the reasons that make you \
feel fulfilled. Some people
have sex for reasons that are wrong for them, before they realize that s\
ex is better when they do it for
the right reasons. If you give some serious thought to what makes sex th\
e best for you, and stick to a
goal of trying to have sex under those conditions, you'll be happier wit\
h your sex life.

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Page 17
Chapter 2
Sexpectations: Understanding Your Sexual Beliefs
You're probably anxious to start experimenting with new sexual technique\
s, but first you need
to have a firm grasp (pardon the pun) on how to get the most pleasure \
out of your sexuality. To
do that, you have to understand that sex is inherently a good, healthy, \
natural part of life.

But that's not so easy for everyone. From the time you a were child, you\
may have been taught
to feel guilty about sex. The way you were raised factors into what your\
beliefs are as an adult.
This chapter will help you examine what you have already learned about s\
ex, in case there are
things you should unlearn and relearn. Once you understand that sexualit\
y is a wonderful,
integral part of yourself, you will be opening the door to sexual pleasu\
re. Are you ready to learn
how to have amazing sex? If you are, then it's time to start exploring y\
our beliefs and values
about sex, and figuring out how they affect you.

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Staking Your Claim on Sexual Pleasure
Amazing sex means being totally into sex: uninhibited, comfortable, and \
thrilled
to be having sex. It should feel like you won the $20 million lottery, c\
limbed Mt.
Everest, sang a duet with Luciano Pavorotti, or drove a brand-new Ferrar\
i.
However, if you let your inhibitions get the best of you, then having se\
x will
probably feel more like you lost the scratch-off lottery, tripped on you\
r way up a
flight of stairs, sang off key in the shower, or were a passenger in the\
back of an
old pickup truck.
If you don't feel comfortable with your sexuality, then you are missing \
out one of
life's greatest pleasures—sexual pleasure. For example, if being nake\
d makes you
want to hide in a closet, then you certainly won't feel sexy shedding yo\
ur clothes
in front of another person. What about kissing someone new? If your jaw \
locks in
terror, you won't be enjoying the excitement of passionate kissing. You \
may have
blocks to sexual pleasure, and if you believe that you shouldn't enjoy s\
ex, then
you won't. You can get past your inhibitions about sex, but first you ha\
ve to
figure out where the negative feelings came from.

Photo by Barnaby Hall
On the surface, our country appears quite sexually liberated. Pornograph\
y is sold
at most newsstands, R-rated movies show explicit sexual images, and prim\
e-time
television sitcoms have increasingly more sexually oriented themes. Even\
on the
news, there

Page 19
are routinely headlined stories of sex scandals. However, when it comes \
to parenting and
religion, many people still teach that sexual pleasure is wrong. When yo\
u were growing up,
people probably told you that you must say no to sex, or that sex is a t\
emptation to be avoided.
But did anyone ever tell you that sex is a wonderful, positive aspect of\
life?
Whatever beliefs you were raised with, one thing is certain—as an adu\
lt, it is your right to
enjoy sex! You should never feel guilty or embarrassed about wanting to \
improve your sex life
and make it as pleasurable as possible. When you say “Yes!” to ama\
zing sex, you are claiming
your right as a sexual person.
Remembering Your Sexual Influences
Messages about sex have been influencing you from the time you were born\
. Perhaps your
religion told you to wait to have sex until you were married. Perhaps yo\
ur parents told you to
wait until you were in love. Perhaps sex education teachers told you abo\
ut the dangers of sex
and how you could contract AIDS and die. While the dangers of sex are tr\
ue, they are only part
of the story. And when it comes to all those negative messages, what you\
see and