\
did? I
doubt it. Just because the media chooses to discuss alternative sexual p\
ractices, it
does not dictate what people are doing sexually.
Even if you saw an article in Cosmopolitan about threesomes on the same day
that you saw an episode of Ricki Lake about threesomes, that does not mean that
people are having more threesomes. It does not mean that it is a sex tre\
nd. It just
means that the media is choosing to talk about it more. It also does not\
mean that
you should try it, just because you are hearing a lot about it.
Page 10
If you notice some sexy image that you are seeing over and over in the m\
edia, and
it gets you turned on or intrigues you, then maybe it is something that \
you'd want
to try. However, be careful if you want to follow every sexy thing you h\
ear about.
Not every sex act will fit into your natural orientation, or sex style. \
Everyone
creates his or her own individual sexuality, and copycats don't always w\
ind up
fulfilled. Relationships, bodies, and sexual circumstances are so unique\
that each
person can only have sex in his or her own unique sexual expression.
Take some time to discover the creative aspects of sex. Learn all of you\
r options,
then decide what you want to try. The only way to achieve amazing sex is\
to
figure out your own sexuality, and then share it with an amazing partner\
who is
also willing to learn.
Is Everyone Doing It?
Do you ever wonder how your sexual activity compares with others? Do you\
ever
worry that you're having too much sex? Or do you ever feel like you're j\
ust not
getting enough sex? Married, divorced, single, young, and old, is everyb\
ody
having sex all the time? It's easy to wonder how many other people are h\
aving
sex, because most of the time people don't just come out and tell you th\
eir sexual
histories.
The fact is, though, that it is difficult to determine how many times pe\
ople have
had sex, because most people don't keep an exact count, at least after a\
few years
of having sex. Although you may know how many partners you've had, that
number doesn't necessarily add up to the amount of sex you've had. If yo\
u had
one steady partner for 5 years and you had sex on your first date and ev\
ery day
after that, then you had sex 1,825 times in 5 years. If you had 50 partn\
ers over the
course of 5 years, but they were all one night stands, then you only had\
sex 50
times in 5 years. So if you want to determine how much sex you've had in\
your
life, try to count the number of total times, not partners.
I am often asked if a person can have too much sex or too little sex. So\
me people
like to hear about the average sexual frequency of others, because if th\
ey match
those
Page 11
numbers, it makes them feel normal. However, there is no such thing as n\
ormal or
average when it comes to frequency of sex. You can never have too little\
sex,
unless you want to have more. If, for example, a husband and wife only w\
ant to
have sex once a year, and that's totally fine with both of them, then th\
at's the
amount of sex that they should have. Whatever amount makes you and your
partner happy is the right amount, no matter how infrequent.
On the other hand, if you enjoy having sex often, that's fine, if you ca\
n find a
partner who wants the same amount as you. The only way you can have too \
much
sex is if it is interfering with your life. If you have to quit your job\
, you never
have time to talk to your family or friends, and you can't function norm\
ally
because you feel that you must have sex all the time, then you're having\
too much
sex. Some people who are this extreme are said to be sexually compulsive\
, and
they should be treated by a sex therapist for this problem. Otherwise, t\
here is
nothing wrong with having a lot of sex. If you have the time and a willi\
ng partner,
go for it!
If you're not having as much sex as you want to be having, it can be fru\
strating. If
you have a partner who does not like to have sex as often as you do, the\
n you two
need to work out a happy compromise. If you are not having as much sex a\
s you
would like because you're single, don't despair—there are plenty of p\
otential
partners who are in the same situation, and someday you will find each o\
ther.
Married or Single: Does It Make a Difference?
I've heard married people say that they'd love to be single again, to ha\
ve sex
whenever and with whomever they desire. But in reality, those married pe\
ople are
probably having more sex than their single counterparts. Unless they're \
in a
committed relationship, single people
Continue reading on your phone by scaning this QR Code
Tip: The current page has been bookmarked automatically. If you wish to continue reading later, just open the
Dertz Homepage, and click on the 'continue reading' link at the bottom of the page.