Comedies | Page 7

from it. Go on, legs! May the devil split you if you don't! Marry, the rogues won't budge. They want to go back to the inn. My limbs wage war on each other: my belly and my legs want to go to the inn, and my back wants to go to town. Will you go on, you dogs! you beasts! you scurvy wretches! The devil take them, they will go back to the inn; I have more trouble getting my own legs away from the inn than I have getting my piebald horse out of the stable. Oh, if I only dared drink another pennyworth! Who knows but Jacob Shoemaker might trust me for a penny or two, if I begged enough? Hey, Jacob! Another twopenny glass of brandy!

SCENE 6
(Enter Jacob)
JACOB. Hello, Jeppe! back again? I thought you had had too little. What good is a farthing's worth of brandy? That's hardly enough to wet your whistle.
JEPPE. That's so, Jacob! I'll spend another farthing! (Aside.) Once I've got it down, he'll have to trust me whether he wants to or not.
JACOB. Here's your farthing's worth of brandy, Jeppe, but money first.
JEPPE. You certainly can trust me while I'm drinking, as the proverb says.
JACOB. We don't give credit on proverbs, Jeppe! If you don't pay up, you won't get a drop; we have sworn off trusting any one, even the bailiff himself.
JEPPE (weeping). Can't you really trust me? I'm an honest man.
JACOB. No credit.
JEPPE. Here's your twopence, then, you beggar! Now it's done, drink, Jeppe! Oh, that goes to the right spot.
JACOB. It certainly does warm a man's insides.
JEPPE. The best thing about brandy is that it gives you courage. Now I don't think any more about my wife or Master Eric, I've been so changed by that last glass. Do you know this song, Jacob?
Heir Peder and Kirsten sat at the table, Peteheia! Said all the bad words that they were able, Polemeia! In summer the happy starlings sing, Peteheia! May devil take Nille, the dirty thing, Polemeia! One day I went out upon the grass, Peteheia! The deacon, he is a hangman's ass, Polemeia! On my dappled horse I ride to the east, Peteheia! The deacon, he is a nasty beast, Polemeia! If you would know my wife's real name, Peteheia! I'll tell you: it is Lust and Shame, Polemeia!
I made up that song myself, Jacob!
JACOB. The devil you did!
JEPPE. Jeppe's not as dull as you think: I've also made up a song about shoemakers, which goes like this:
The shoemaker sits with his big bass viol, Philepom, Philepom!
JACOB. You poor fool, that's about a fiddler.
JEPPE. So it is. See here, Jacob! Give me twopence worth more of brandy.
JACOB. All right; I see you're a good fellow; you don't grudge spending a penny or two in my house.
JEPPE. Hey, Jacob! make it fourpence.
JACOB. Certainly.
JEPPE. (singing again).
The earth drinks water, The sea drinks sun, The sun drinks sea, Everything on earth drinks; Why not me?
JACOB. Your health, Jeppe!
JEPPE. Mir zu!
JACOB. Here's to you in half of it!
JEPPE. Ich tank you, Jacob. Drink, man, and the devil take you and welcome!
JACOB. I see that you can talk German.
JEPPE. Yes, I have for a long time, but I don't like to except when I'm full.
JACOB. Then you must speak it at least once a day.
JEPPE. I was ten years m the militia, don't you think I ought to understand the language?
JACOB. I know, Jeppe! We were in the same company for two years.
JEPPE. So we were; I remember it now. You were hanged once when you ran away at Vissmar.
JACOB. I was going to be hanged, but I was pardoned. A miss is as good as a mile.
JEPPE. It's too bad you weren't hanged, Jacob! But weren't you with us at the auction on the heath--you know the one?
JACOB. Why, where wasn't I with you?
JEPPE. I never shall forget the first salt the Swedes made. I think 3000 men--or even 4000--fell all at once. Das ging fordeviled zu, Jacob! Du kannst das wohl rememberen. Ich kan nicht deny dass ich bange war at dat battle.
JACOB: Yes, yes, death is hard to face; a man always feels pious when he goes against the enemy.
Jeppe. Yes, that's so. I don't know how it happens. For I spent the whole night before the auction reading the Qualms of David.
JACOB. I wonder that you, who have been a soldier, should let yourself be browbeaten by your wife.
JEPPE. I? If I only could have her here now, you'd see how I should drub her! Another glass, Jacob! I still have eightpence, and when that's all drunk up I shall drink on credit. Give me a mug of ale, too. (Sings.)
In Leipzig war ein Mann, In Leipzig war ein Mann, In Leipzig war ein lederner Mann, In Leipzig war