Comedies | Page 6

time that he sang down twelve deacons in the Credo. Once I started to quarrel openly with the deacon, when Nille herself heard him call me a cuckold. I said, "May the devil be your cuckold, deacon!" But what good did it do? Master Eric came right down off the wall to stop the quarrel, and my back got such a drubbing that I had to ask the deacon's leave to thank him, that he, as a well-educated man, should do such an honor to our house. Since that time I haven't thought of making any opposition. Yes, yes, Moens Christoffersen! You and the other peasants can very well talk, because your wives haven't any Master Eric hanging behind the bed. If I had one wish in the world, it would be either that my wife had no arms, or that I had no back. She may use her mouth as much as she pleases. But I must stop at Jacob Shoemaker's on the way--he'll surely let me have a pennyworth of brandy on credit--for I must have something to quench my thirst. Hey, Jacob Shoemaker! Are you up yet? Open the door, Jacob!

SCENE 4
(Enter Jacob Shoemaker, in his shirt.)
JACOB. Who the dickens wants to get in so early?
JEPPE. Good morning to you, Jacob Shoemaker.
JACOB. Thank you, Jeppe! You are up and about bright and early to-day.
JEPPE. Let us have a pennyworth of brandy, Jacob!
JACOB. With all my heart, when you show me the penny.
JEPPE. I'll give it to you when I come back here tomorrow.
JACOB. Jacob Shoemaker doesn't give credit, I know you must have a penny or two about you to pay with.
JEPPE. Honestly, Jacob, I have nothing but what my wife gave me to spend in town for her.
JACOB. You can easily beat them down a few pence on what you buy. What is it you're to get her?
JEPPE. I have to buy two pounds of soft soap.
JACOB. Why, can't you tell her the soap cost a penny or two more than you give for it?
JEPPE. I'm so afraid my wife would find out about it, and then I'd be in trouble.
JACOB. Nonsense! How could she find out? Can't you swear that you paid out all the money? You're as stupid as an ox.
JEPPE. That's true, Jacob! I can do that well enough.
JACOB. Out with your penny.
JEPPE. Here you are, but you must give me a penny change.
JACOB (coming in with the glass; drinks to him). Your health, Jeppe!
JEPPE. What a lot you take, you rogue!
JACOB. Oh, yes, but it's the custom for the host to drink his guest's health.
JEPPE. I know it is, but bad luck to the man that started the custom. Your health, Jacob!
JACOB. Thanks, Jeppe! You'll drink the other pennyworth next, so there's no use your troubling about change. Or do you want a glass to your credit when you come again? For I give you my word I haven't any change.
JEPPE. I'm damned if I do! If it's got to be spent, it might as well be spent now, so that I can feel I have something under my belt; but if you drink any of it, I won't pay.
JACOB. Your health!
JEPPE. God save our friends and ill befall our enemies. That does my belly good. Um-m-m.
JACOB. Good luck on your way, Jeppe.
JEPPE. Thanks, Jacob Shoemaker. (Exit Jacob.)

SCENE 5
(Jeppe feels happy and begins to sing.)
A white hen and a speckled hen Got into a row with a rooster--
Oh, if I only dared drink another pennyworth! Oh, if I only dared drink another pennyworth! I think I'll do it. No, ill will come of it. If I could once get the inn out of my sight, I shouldn't need to; but it's as if some one were holding me back. I've got to go in again. But what is this you are doing, Jeppe? I seem to see Nille standing in my path with Master Eric in her hand. I must turn round again. Oh, if I only dared drink another pennyworth! My belly says, "Do it;" my back, "Don't." Which shall I obey? Isn't my belly bigger than my back? I think it is. Shall I knock? Hey, Jacob Shoemaker, come out here! But that cursed woman comes before my eyes again. If she only didn't break the bones of my back when she beats me, I'd let her go to the devil, but she lays on like ... Oh, God help me, miserable creature! What shall I do? Control your nature, Jeppe! Isn't it a shame to get into trouble for a paltry glass of brandy? No, I shan't do it this time; I must go on. Oh, if I only dared drink another pennyworth! It was my undoing that I got a taste of it; now I can't get away