Charles OMalley, vol 2 | Page 5

the laughter for which even the droll-looking servants join as heartily as the rest.
"We were not long in finding out Mrs. Rogers, who sat in the middle of a very high sofa, with her feet just touching the floor. She was short, fat, wore her hair in a crop, had a species of shining yellow skin, and a turned-up nose, all of which were by no means prepossessing. Shaugh and myself were too hard-up to be particular, and so we invited her to dance alternately for two consecutive hours, plying her assiduously with negus during the lulls in the music.
"Supper was at last announced, and enabled us to recruit for new efforts; and so after an awful consumption of fowl, pigeon-pie, ham, and brandy cherries, Mrs. Rogers brightened up considerably, and professed her willingness to join the dancers. As for us, partly from exhaustion, partly to stimulate our energies, and in some degree to drown reflection, we drank deep, and when we reached the drawing-room, not only the agreeable guests themselves, but even the furniture, the venerable chairs, and the stiff old sofa seemed performing 'Sir Roger de Coverley.' How we conducted ourselves till five in the morning, let our cramps confess; for we were both bed-ridden for ten days after. However, at last Mrs. Rogers gave in, and reclining gracefully upon a window-seat, pronounced it a most elegant party, and asked me to look for her shawl. While I perambulated the staircase with her bonnet on my head, and more wearing apparel than would stock a magazine, Shaugh was roaring himself hoarse in the street, calling Mrs. Rogers' coach.
"'Sure, Captain,' said the lady, with a tender leer, 'it's only a chair.'
"'And here it is,' said I, surveying a very portly-looking old sedan, newly painted and varnished, that blocked up half the hall.
"'You'll catch cold, my angel,' said Shaugh, in a whisper, for he was coming it very strong by this; 'get into the chair. Maurice, can't you find those fellows?' said he to me, for the chairmen had gone down-stairs, and were making very merry among the servants.
"'She's fast now,' said I, shutting the door to. 'Let us do the gallant thing, and carry her home ourselves.' Shaugh thought this a great notion; and in a minute we mounted the poles and sallied forth, amidst a great chorus of laughing from all the footmen, maids, and teaboys that filled the passage.
"'The big house, with the bow-window and the pillars, Captain,' said a fellow, as we issued upon our journey. "'I know it,' said I. 'Turn to the left after you pass the square.'
"'Isn't she heavy?' said Shaugh, as he meandered across the narrow streets with a sidelong motion that must have suggested to our fair inside passenger some notions of a sea voyage. In truth, I must confess our progress was rather a devious one,--now zig-zagging from side to side, now getting into a sharp trot, and then suddenly pulling up at a dead stop, or running the machine chuck against a wall, to enable us to stand still and gain breath.
"'Which way now?' cried he, as we swung round the angle of a street and entered the large market-place; 'I'm getting terribly tired.'
"'Never give in, Dan. Think of Clonakilty and the old lady herself.' Here I gave the chair a hoist that evidently astonished our fair friend, for a very imploring cry issued forth immediately after.
"'To the right, quick-step, forward, charge!' cried I; and we set off at a brisk trot down a steep narrow lane.
"'Here it is now,--the light in the window. Cheer up.'
"As I said this we came short up to a fine, portly-looking doorway, with great stone pillars and cornice.
"'Make yourself at home, Maurice,' said he; 'bring her in.' So saying, we pushed forward--for the door was open--and passed boldly into a great flagged hall, silent and cold, and dark as the night itself.
"'Are you sure we're right?' said he.
"'All right,' said I; 'go ahead.'
"And so we did, till we came in sight of a small candle that burned dimly at a distance from us.
"'Make for the light,' said I; but just as I said so Shaugh slipped and fell flat on the flagway. The noise of his fall sent up a hundred echoes in the silent building, and terrified us both dreadfully. After a minute's pause, by one consent we turned and made for the door, falling almost at every step, and frightened out of our senses, we came tumbling together into the porch, and out in the street, and never drew breath till we reached the barracks. Meanwhile let me return to Mrs. Rogers. The dear old lady, who had passed an awful time since she left the ball, had just rallied out of a fainting fit when we took to our heels;