the holy Lamb of God.
I will trust wholly in him and in his merits alone for acceptance."
"_Sunday, Aug. 8._ What I have done to-day would once have seemed
impossible, the cross that I have taken up would have seemed almost
insupportable. I could not have believed the last time I attended the
prayer-meeting that at the next one I should stand up as a witness for
Christ. But thank God! my proud heart has in some degree been
humbled, and the dearest hope I now cherish is, that Christ may not be
ashamed to confess me before his Father and all the holy angels."
"_Aug. 22._ While standing this evening by the grave of one dearly
beloved in life, and cherished more fondly now that death has taken her
from my embrace, I could not stay the soaring flight of fancy, which
would portray to my mind in vivid colors our meeting at the great
Resurrection morn; and the thought that that meeting was so near--that
in a very little while the grave should lose its power and that she would
come forth robed in immortal beauty, filled my soul with transport and
almost brought to my lips the yearning cry, 'Come, Lord Jesus, and
come quickly.'"
On the 27th of August Miss JOHNSON closed her school, and after
spending a few weeks at home went to the academy at Derby Centre,
Vt. Under date of "Wednesday, Oct. 26," we have this entry in her
journal:--
"Attended the exercises to-night and read a composition. They could
not have liked it, for it was upon a subject which must be disagreeable
to the world; and yet it is the subject nearest my heart--one that I love
to dwell upon and to hear about: the coming of my blessed Saviour.
When will the glorious morn appear! Loud and repeated cheers were
given when Miss ---- read her composition. Well, it was good; such as
would suit the world, but not _me_--strange being that I am. But I shall
not always be so: in heaven I shall not be a stranger. There I can
converse with the saints dearly-beloved: for their conversation will be
on the things of God; and my Saviour himself will deign to address me
there! Why should I not then long, aye long to obtain that blissful state?
And yet I sometimes fear that I shall fall far short of it, for I am so vile
and polluted."
The "composition" referred to we do not find among her papers; but
much that she has written shows that she was indeed deeply interested
in "that blessed hope" (Tit. 2:13). She was a decided pre- millennialist,
and stood identified in her church-membership with the Evangelical
Adventists. On completing her eighteenth year (Oct. 27, 1852), she
said:--
"This evening, while looking back through all the events of my life,
what is there that rejoices me most? It is one that the past year has
brought forth,--one that will ever be remembered with deep and
powerful emotions: the day that consecrated me to the Lord, when I
breathed forth with a fervent heart, 'Give me Christ, or else I die,' and I
was enabled to take up my cross and follow my Saviour in baptism."
Here there is no regret expressed for the step she had taken, nor did she
ever feel any, though she greatly deplored her weakness and
unprofitableness in the Lord's service. And why not? Listen to her,
under date of June 13, 1853:--
"How sweet, when the soul has no earthly support, to fly to the Rock of
Ages! The Saviour is precious to the heart of the pardoned sinner.
There is nothing like the love of Jesus. He is not like other friends
--oftentimes wearied by our complaints and the repetition of our
sorrows, but is always longsuffering and delighting to hear and answer
every cry of the burdened spirit; smiling ever in the darkest of
afflictions, and forever dropping the balm of consolation into the
distracted breast. Oh, what a privilege to have such a friend--such a
sure and steadfast friend--such a wise and omnipotent friend. And he is
my friend? Yes; he is '_the sinner's_ FRIEND,' and therefore mine: for
surely nothing but wondrous love could have led him to die a cruel and
ignominious death for me, polluted as I am. O Jesus, thou art my friend
and I will be thy friend; thou didst love me first and I do love thee, but
not as fervently as I should, nor so much as I desire. O God, give me
more of thy Holy Spirit; may it consume every unhallowed passion,
tear every idol from my heart, and consecrate that heart entirely to
thee."
The only journal notes of considerable length which Miss JOHNSON
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