Canadian Wild Flowers | Page 6

the last supper which Christ partook
of with his disciples presented itself to my mind! and then I looked
forward with joyful hope to the day when all the saints of God shall eat
bread in his glorious kingdom,--when all of every age and clime shall
be gathered around the table, and Jesus Christ himself be in their midst.
It was a soul-inspiring thought, and for all the wealth of a thousand
worlds like this I would not have been absent from that
communion--from which I had so often absented myself. Yes; I had
never before partaken of the Lord's supper; and it was my own wicked
heart which had kept me away, for God had called loudly upon me, and
his Holy Spirit had again and again striven with me. Oh, what a sinner I
have been, and what a longsuffering God! I wonder that he did not cast
me off forever. Oh, what mercy I 'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all
that is within me bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and
forget not all his benefits.' And now, have I forsaken all for Christ?
Have I thrown myself--body, soul, and spirit--upon the altar? I do want
to sacrifice everything for Christ, and by the grace of God I will
perform the following:--
"1. When my duty appears plain I will do it, whatever may be the
consequences.
"2. I will never be ashamed to confess Christ before the world.
"3. I will consecrate my talents entirely to the Lord.
"4. I will never employ my pen in writing anything which I might
regret at the bar of God.
"5. I will never permit any one of my compositions to be printed unless
I can in sincerity ask the blessing of God to attend it.
"6. As I shall be brought into judgment for every idle word I say, I will
endeavor never to engage in trifling conversation, but on every proper
occasion to speak of the wondrous grace of God.
"7. I will, whenever a good opportunity occurs, warn my young
companions to flee from the wrath to come.

"8. I will strive to set my affections on things above, not on things on
the earth.
"9. By the assistance of the Holy Spirit I will endeavor to keep evil
thoughts out of my heart, and to meditate upon the law of God.
"10. I will never pass a day without seeking some secret place at least
twice a day, and pouring out my soul in prayer to God.
"11. I will study the Holy Scriptures, and endeavor to understand what I
read.
"12. I will try to do all I can.
"O God, assist me to perform what I have written in thy fear and to thy
glory. I am perfect weakness: but 'thou knowest my frame, thou
rememberest that I am dust.' I know thou art merciful; Oh, give me a
more exalted faith. Help me to come boldly forward and claim thy
promises as mine. Humble my pride; keep me at thy feet; let not the
temptations of Satan overcome me, but may I trust myself in thine arms.
May I love thee fervently, above everything else--better, far than my
own life. I can do nothing unless thou dost assist me. Oh, support me,
and save me at last in thy kingdom, for Christ's sake."
In the evening of that ever memorable Sabbath she offered aloud a few
words of prayer at the family altar, and next day (as she was then
teaching) had prayer in her school: thus she "confessed with the mouth
the Lord Jesus" while in her heart she believed that God had raised him
from the dead (Rom. 10:9). Immediately after the Son of God himself
was baptized, he was in the wilderness "tempted of the devil"; it need
not be thought strange therefore if his followers soon after their
baptism are also grievously assaulted by the same adversary. This
young Christian did not escape him entirely; yet from that day until her
death, though conscious of much weakness and imperfection, having
many dark days and great sufferings, she never renounced her
allegiance to the King of kings, who had bought her with his blood. A
few more selections from her diary will show the working of her mind
about this time.
"_Aug. 7._ A calm and quiet morning. A soothing calm steals over my
soul. Faith, with triumphant wing, rises far above, the scenes of earth
and points to that glorious world where Christ pleads for me before the
throne of his Father. The doubts which have so long filled my heart are
sinful and dishonoring to God, and I will no longer give place to them:

I will look away from myself--from my sins--to