Cad Metti, The Female Detective Strategist | Page 8

great burly men.
"Say, young fellow, just hand over the swag you've stolen so we can
return it to the owner and we'll let you off. I've a list of the articles: a
watch, some diamonds and money. We don't want to be hard on you.
Peel out the stuff and we'll let you off; won't we, comrades?"
"I don't know about that. I think we should do our duty," said one of the
men.
"Well, yes, but seein' they're having such a good time I haven't the
heart to put them in jail."
"Just as you say, captain, just as you say."
"Say, young fellow, will you hand over the swag?"
"He! he! he! really, gentleman, what jokers you are! I know you are
very funny, but I don't understand your jokes; indeed, I don't."
"You don't, eh?"
"No, no; he! he! he!"
"Is it a joke to go to jail?"
"He! he! he! how funny! now I see you want to scare us; but see here, I
don't scare. I can prove that to you, and if you do not go away I shall be
compelled to thrash you."
"What!" ejaculated the three men, giving utterance to real laughter. It

really did sound comical for that apparently slender dude to threaten to
thrash three burly men.
"So you'll thrash us, eh?"
"He! he! he! yes, you will compel me to thrash you if you don't go
away. Why, this lady is very much annoyed. I cannot see her annoyed;
certainly not, so go away and I'll not harm you."
"Hear him--hear him!" cried one of the rogues, and he added: "We'll
have to duck him for insultin' us."
"Yes, we'll have to duck him."
"Let's do it."
The men leaped forward when one of the most extraordinary scenes
that ever occurred followed. As the men leaped forward both Oscar and
Cad drew short billies--drew them so quickly that the men did not
observe them until they felt them. A complete change had come over
the appearance and actions of Oscar and Cad. The former with an ease
and quickness that was wonderful to behold dealt the leader of the
rogues a smart tap on the head that caused him to lie down in the sand
as though stricken with a pain where his digestive organs reside. Cad
meantime played a single-note tattoo on the head of number two, and
Oscar, after dropping the first man, paid his compliments to number
three, who also concluded to lie down without any premeditation
whatever. It was, as We have intimated, a most singular, startling and
extraordinary scene, and before the men could rise each received to
turn a second rap, when Oscar inquired:
"What shall we do with them, sis?"
"Drown them," came the answer.
"No, no, it would be too bad to toss such mean carcasses into pure
water."

"But they'll become salted," said the girl.
"I reckon we've salted them pretty well; let's stroll."
Oscar and Cad walked away, resuming the same smart girl and dude
rôle they had played ere they fell to and downed the burly ruffians.
It was a sight for a comic paper, after Oscar and Cad had wandered
away, to behold the three ruffians rise and look at each other. For a
moment none of them spoke. They just looked, until one of the party,
who evidently was a sort of humorist, said:
"Cap, I don't think we'll go shopping with their wad to-day."
The other man fell to the spirit of the occasion and said:
"Well, cap, it was easy, yes, very easy for them."
The leader looked, yes, looked very blue.
"Well, did you ever!" he murmured.
"No, I never," came the response.
"What was it we struck?"
"I feel as though something had struck me," was the answer.
"My covies, we got it good."
"Did you? Well, I got it bad. Oh, how my head aches!"
"Who are they?"
"I'll never tell you, but it was the gal gave me my rap and she came
down on me with the force of a Goliah, and I went down--see? I'm
down yet."
"I don't understand," said the leader as he mopped the blood trickling

from the wound in his head with his handkerchief.
"I'll never explain it to you," said the humorist.
"Hang me, but I can't think."
"Neither can I. My thoughts are wool-gathering, and no wonder, eh? By
jiminy! what a settler I got, and I settled."
"They were playing us."
"Yes, they were playing us, and they had lots of fun rattling on my poor
conk."
"But who are they?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Giant, I reckon, and it came so quick that for a moment I
thought I was in a ship and a squall had blown the mast over on me.