Old Man with a beard,
Who sat on a horse when he
reared;
But they said, "Never mind!
You will fall off behind,
You
propitious Old Man with a beard!"
86.
There was an Old Man of the West,
Who never could get any rest;
So they set him to spin,
On his nose find his chin,
Which cured that
Old Man of the West.
87.
There was an Old Person of Anerley,
Whose conduct was strange and
unmannerly;
He rushed down the Strand,
With a Pig in each hand,
But returned in the evening to Anerley.
88.
There was a Young Lady of Troy,
Whom several large flies did
annoy;
Some she killed with a thump,
Some she drowned at the
pump,
And some she took with her to Troy.
89.
There was an Old Man of Berlin,
Whose form was uncommonly thin;
Till he once, by mistake,
Was mixed up in a cake,
So they baked
that Old Man of Berlin.
90.
There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sate on a chair,
With his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old
Person of Spain.
91.
There was a Young Lady of Russia,
Who screamed so that no one
could hush her;
Her screams were extreme,
No one heard such a
scream,
As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
92.
There was an Old Man, who said, "Well!
Will NOBODY answer this
bell?
I have pulled day and night,
Till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!"
93.
There was a Young Lady of Wales,
Who caught a large fish without
scales;
When she lifted her hook,
She exclaimed, "Only look!"
That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
94.
There was an Old Person of Cheadle,
Was put in the stocks by the
beadle;
For stealing some pigs,
Some coats, and some wigs,
That
horrible Person of Cheadle.
95.
There was a Young Lady of Welling,
Whose praise all the world was
a-telling;
She played on the harp,
And caught several carp,
That
accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
96.
There was an Old Person of Tartary,
Who divided his jugular artery;
But he screeched to his wife,
And she said, "Oh, my life!
Your
death will be felt by all Tartary!"
97.
There was an old Person of Chester,
Whom several small children did
pester;
They threw some large stones,
Which broke most of his
bones,
And displeased that old person of Chester.
98.
There was an Old Man with an owl,
Who continued to bother and
howl;
He sate on a rail,
And imbibed bitter ale,
Which refreshed
that Old Man and his owl.
99.
There was an Old Person of Gretna,
Who rushed down the crater of
Etna;
When they said, "Is it hot?"
He replied, "No, it's not!"
That
mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
100.
There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
Who went by the slow train to
Weedon;
When they cried, "Weedon Station!"
She made no
observation,
But thought she should go back to Sweden.
101.
There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
Whose aunt was a very fast
walker;
She walked seventy miles,
And leaped fifteen stiles,
Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
102.
There was an Old Man of the Cape,
Who possessed a large Barbary
Ape;
Till the Ape one dark night,
Set the house on a light,
Which
burned that Old Man of the Cape.
103.
There was an Old Lady of Prague,
Whose language was horribly
vague;
When they said, "Are these caps?"
She answered,
"Perhaps!"
That oracular Lady of Prague.
104.
There was an Old Person of Sparta,
Who had twenty-five sons and
one daughter;
He fed them on snails,
And weighed them in scales,
That wonderful person of Sparta.
105.
There was an Old Man at a easement,
Who held up his hands in
amazement;
When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!"
He replied, "Not at
all!"
That incipient Old Man at a casement.
106.
There was an old Person of Burton,
Whose answers were rather
uncertain;
When they said, "How d'ye do?"
He replied, "Who are
you?"
That distressing old person of Burton.
107.
There was an Old Person of Ems,
Who casually fell in the Thames;
And when he was found,
They said he was drowned,
That unlucky
Old Person of Ems.
108.
There was an Old Person of Ewell,
Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
But to make it more nice,
He inserted some mice,
Which refreshed
that Old Person of Ewell.
109.
There was a Young Lady of Parma,
Whose conduct grew calmer and
calmer;
When they said, "Are you dumb?"
She merely said, "Hum!"
That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
110.
There was an Old Man of Aosta,
Who possessed a large Cow, but he
lost her;
But they said, "Don't you see,
She has rushed up a tree?
You invidious Old Man of Aosta!"
111.
There was an Old Man, on whose nose,
Most birds of the air could
repose;
But they all flew away,
At the closing of day,
Which
relieved that Old Man and his nose.
112.
There was a Young Lady of Clare,
Who was sadly pursued by a bear;
When she found she was tired,
She abruptly expired,
That
unfortunate Lady of Clare.
End of Project Gutenberg's Etext of The Book of Nonsense by Edward
Lear
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