Book of Nonsense | Page 5

works of
Vitruvius;
When the flames burnt his book,
To drinking he took,

That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
57.
There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been
born;
So he sat on a chair,
Till he died of despair,
That dolorous
Man of Cape Horn.
58.
There was an Old Lady whose folly,
Induced her to sit in a holly;

Whereon by a thorn,
Her dress being torn,
She quickly became
melancholy.
59.
There was an Old Man of Corfu,
Who never knew what he should do;

So he rushed up and down,
Till the sun made him brown,
That
bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
60.

There was an Old Man of the South,
Who had an immoderate mouth;

But in swallowing a dish,
That was quite full of fish,
He was
choked, that Old Man of the South.
61.
There was an Old Man of the Nile,
Who sharpened his nails with a
file;
Till he cut off his thumbs,
And said calmly, "This comes--
Of
sharpening one's nails with a file!"
62.
There was an Old Person of Rheims,
Who was troubled with horrible
dreams;
So, to keep him awake,
They fed him with cake,
Which
amused that Old Person of Rheims.
63.
There was an Old Person of Cromer,
Who stood on one leg to read
Homer;
When he found he grew stiff,
He jumped over the cliff,

Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
64.
There was an Old Person of Troy,
Whose drink was warm brandy and
soy;
Which he took with a spoon,
By the light of the moon,
In
sight of the city of Troy.
65.
There was an Old Man of the Dee,
Who was sadly annoyed by a flea;

When he said, "I will scratch it,"
They gave him a hatchet,
Which
grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
66.
There was an Old Man of Dundee,
Who frequented the top of a tree;


When disturbed by the crows,
He abruptly arose,
And exclaimed,
"I'll return to Dundee."
67.
There was an Old Person of Tring,
Who embellished his nose with a
ring;
He gazed at the moon,
Every evening in June,
That ecstatic
Old Person of Tring.
68.
There was an Old Man on some rocks,
Who shut his wife up in a box;

When she said, "Let me out,"
He exclaimed, "Without doubt,

You will pass all your life in that box."
69.
There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
The length of whose legs was
immense;
He went with one prance,
>From Turkey to France,

That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
70.
There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
Who perpetually ate bread and
butter;
Till a great bit of muffin,
On which he was stuffing,

Choked that horrid old man of Calcutta.
71.
There was an Old Man in a pew,
Whose waistcoat was spotted with
blue;
But he tore it in pieces,
To give to his nieces,--
That
cheerful Old Man in a pew.
72.
There was an Old Man who said, "How,--
Shall I flee from this
horrible Cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile,


Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
73.
There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent Bull;

But she seized on a spade,
And called out--"Who's afraid!"

Which distracted that virulent Bull.
74.
There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
Who danced a quadrille with
a Raven;
But they said--"It's absurd,
To encourage this bird!"
So
they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
75.
There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
The smallest as ever was born;

But quickly snapt up he,
Was once by a puppy,
Who devoured that
Old Man of Leghorn.
76.
There was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively
vague;
He built a balloon,
To examine the moon,
That deluded
Old Man of the Hague.
77.
There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
Who suddenly married a Quaker;

But she cried out--"O lack!
I have married a black!"
Which
distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
78.
There was an old person of Dutton,
Whose head was so small as a
button;
So to make it look big,
He purchased a wig,
And rapidly
rushed about Dutton.

79.
There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a
lyre;
At the sound of each sweep,
She enraptured the deep,
And
enchanted the city of Tyre.
80.
There was an Old Man who said, " Hush!
I perceive a young bird in
this bush!"
When they said--"Is it small?"
He replied--"Not at all!

It is four times as big as the bush!"
81.
There was an Old Man of the East,
Who gave all his children a feast;

But they all ate so much,
And their conduct was such,
That it
killed that Old Man of the East.
82.
There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
Who possessed a remarkably
fat cur,
His gait and his waddle,
Were held as a model,
To all the
fat dogs in Kamschatka.
83.
There was an Old Man of the Coast,
Who placidly sat on a post;

But when it was cold,
He relinquished his hold,
And called for
some hot buttered toast.
84.
There was an Old Person of Bangor,
Whose face was distorted with
anger;
He tore off his boots,
And subsisted on roots,
That
borascible person of Bangor.
85.

There was an