Body Language Basics | Page 5

looks.

Visual contact can also modify a relationship. We feel how important the look is when
a person refuses to look us in the eye and we cannot perceive whether we interest
that person or whether the message we want to transmit is of interest to him or her.

Bear in mind that:

• If we catch someone looking at us, we feel uncomfortable as if there were
something wrong. W e feel disturbed and annoyed.

• Looking away is associated with the intention to hide the intensity of an
emotion or a feeling.

• An absence of visual contact sometimes gives the impression of isolation.

• Strong displeasure is communicated by deliberately avoiding the eyes of the
other person or by giving him/her a hard, intense look.

The face

The expression on a person’s face can make a significant difference to the meaning
of a message. If we want to send a warm or positive message, we back it up with a
friendly smile. If it is a serious message, we show a serious, solemn or cautious
expression.

9 With facial movements we can express a whole range of emotions, from the deepest
to the most superficial. If something is bothering us, our annoyance is reflected in a
hard or angry facial expression. Happiness is expressed with a change of gesture
and with a soft mobility of the facial muscles. An angry person’s facial muscles are
tense and rigid.

This aspect of body language is very important because our face reveals our
thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and our attitudes to people, ideas, or facts. Many
people interpret or judge us from our facial expressions.

The human face has a tremendous variety of expressions. If we consider the head
as well as the face, we find another whole set of movements. You can nod your
head, shake it, turn it away, and raise it sharply; all these movements are significant.
However they have different meanings when combined with different facial
expressions and in different cultural contexts. The knowledge that people raise their
eyebrows or lower their eyelids to express a specific emotion is the result of
observation.

The arms and legs

We should not read a meaning into the way a person crosses his/her arms and legs,
without first taking into account the physiological condition of the person’s body.
Nevertheless, there is a strong tendency to attribute a series of meanings to the
direction in which we cross our arms.

It has apparently been established that crossing one’s arms is sometimes a defensive
gesture, a sign that one does not accept the point of view of another person, or a lack
of security. These and other interpretations are valid, but when we come to the
direction of the crossing of arms – left over right, or vice-versa – we are on shakier
ground. The difficulty here is that the way we cross our arms is an innate genetic
trait, like being right-handed or left-handed.

Prejudices

In daily social interactions, “perceptive selectivity” is expressed in a great many
attitudes. This typically means that we perceive the negative aspects of individuals
for whom we feel aversion, while we perceive the favorable aspects of those who
attract us.

This selective attitude is also clearly manifested in prejudices. Those who prejudge
specific social groups observe only those manifestations that agree with their
distorted viewpoint and remove from their awareness anything that may run counter
to their appraisal.

Body language plays a significant role in selective perception, since all the acts a
person performs in our sight will be modified by the opinion we have formed of him,
without even knowing him.

10 Articles and clothing

The articles people use or have around them reveal things about them. The choice
of clothes and accessories tell us about the preferences, the personality, the activities
and status of the people wearing them. It is also true that the interpretation of such
choices reveals aspects of the personality of the perceiver.

The way we handle objects when we communicate becomes a body language
message: how we fidget with a pen, the telephone wire, a salt shaker, a ring, etc. This
fidgeting with objects can express nervousness, boredom, lack of interest, anxiety, or
other emotions.

Here again we see the need to manage an image in keeping with each personality
and the need to make sure that the message we send to individuals or groups is a
positive one, so that the response we elicit from them will be equally effective.