Body Language Basics | Page 4

indicates that all the
members are in agreement. If the group has two points of view, the defenders of
each opinion will adopt different positions; each subgroup will be congruent within
itself, but not congruent with the other subgroup. The leader in any social or family
gathering often selects the position for the group and they all invariably follow him or
her.


The parts of the body and body language

The different parts of the body constantly communicate people’s state of mind,
personality, and attitude. For example, the dominant person plants his feet squarely
on the ground, adopts a firm posture, and sometimes uses bullying tactics, all of
which expresses control over his affairs and responsibility for them. On the other
hand, the use of too many body movements without any real significance is
associated with immature personalities.

The following paragraphs summarize what can be expressed by different parts of the
body, such as the hands or the face, and associated aspects, such as clothing and
timing.

7 The hands

Hands have a very important role to play in communications. Their movement is
closely associated with the emotions. W hen a person wants to emphasize or stress
his words, he makes his hand movements bigger and more deliberate.

Bear in mind that:

• In Latin countries, every statement is accompanied by ample movements of
the arms and hands, unlike Saxon countries where people make more limited
movements.

• If we observe a young man waiting for his fiancée, we can perceive whether
he is anxious, grieved, fearful or confident by the way he moves, joins his
hands, or keeps them close to his body. We can even glimpse what he
expects from that encounter.

Hand movements are more frequent when a person is having difficulty expressing his
ideas verbally or when it is difficult for him to make himself understood. The greater
his need to make himself understood, the greater intensity he will give to the
expression of his hands and he will gesticulate more amply.

Interest or concern about an issue can be hinted at by touching the forearm of the
other person. Also, with a handshake in certain situations it is possible to reveal and
capture the most varied feelings of strength or weakness, attitudes of superiority or
inferiority, enthusiasm or coldness, interest or lack of interest, confidence or
insecurity, fear, or anxiety.

Remember that:

• When expressing condolences, we often do this with a warm handshake and a
gentle hug; sorrow is transmitted in this way more naturally and effectively
than with words.

• The greeting that follows visual contact is a demonstration of dominance. If we
shake hands firmly and enthusiastically, we are giving the message that we
possess sufficient strength and amiability to control the situation. On the other
hand, a weak handshake suggests the kind of person who prefers to keep his
distance and reserve his social space, someone who is enclosed within
himself.

The eyes

Of all the parts of the human body used to transmit information, the eyes are the most
capable of reflecting very fine nuances. The first contact we make with a person is

8 usually through the eyes; and one look is often enough to start or end a relationship,
to choose or reject a person.

The eye muscles are so wonderfully subtle that one look can differ minutely from
another; and tell us what is going on inside the person who is looking. Also,
communication with one’s eyes is more revealing when it is done unconsciously.

There are different formulae for exchanging looks, depending on where the meeting
occurs. Sometimes we use the technique of looking-and-looking-away-again when
we meet famous people. W e want to reassure them that we respect their privacy.
The same is true when we meet handicapped people or invalids: we look at them
briefly and then look away to make sure they don’t think we are staring at them. In
fact, this is the technique we use in any unusual circumstance, when a stare would
produce discomfort.

A subtle measurement of time is used when talking, listening, looking, and looking
away. Most people look away immediately before or after having pronounced one of
each four sentences. Some do so at the beginning or half-way through the sentence.
When they finish speaking, half of the people look at the person they are talking to.
To look away during a conversation can be a means of hiding something. W e must
remember, however, that the context determines the meaning of people’s