Bill Nyes Comic History of England | Page 8

were a source of annoyance until about 925, when Edward died; but
at his death he was the undisputed king of all Britain, and all the various sub-monarchs
and associate rulers gave up their claims to him. He was assisted in his affairs of state by
his widowed sister, Ethelfleda. Edward the Elder had his father's ability as a ruler, but
was not so great as a scholar or littérateur. He had not the unfaltering devotion to study
nor the earnest methods which made Alfred great. Alfred not only divided up his time
into eight-hour shifts,--one for rest, meals, and recreation, one for the affairs of state, and
one for study and devotion,--but he invented the candle with a scale on it as a time-piece,
and many a subject came to the throne at regular periods to set his candle by the royal

lights.
[Illustration: CAME TO THE THRONE AT REGULAR PERIODS TO SET THEIR
CANDLES BY THE ROYAL LIGHT.]
Think of those days when the Sergeant-at-Arms of Congress could not turn back the
clock in order to assist an appropriation at the close of the session, but when the light
went out the session closed.
Athelstan succeeded his father, Edward the Presiding Elder, and resembled him a good
deal by defeating the Welsh, Scots, and Danes. In those days agriculture, trade, and
manufacturing were diversions during the summer months; but the regular business of
life was warfare with the Danes, Scots, and Welsh.
These foes of England could live easily for years on oatmeal, sour milk, and cod's heads,
while the fighting clothes of a whole regiment would have been a scant wardrobe for the
Greek Slave, and after two centuries of almost uninterrupted carnage their war debt was
only a trifle over eight dollars.
Edmund, the brother of Ethelstan, at the age of eighteen, succeeded his brother on the
throne.
One evening, while a little hilarity was going on in the royal apartments, Edmund noticed
among the guests a robber named Leolf, who had not been invited. Probably he was a
pickpocket; and as a royal robber hated anybody who dropped below grand larceny, the
king ordered his retainers to put him out.
But the retainers shrank from the undertaking, therefore Edmund sprang from the throne
like a tiger and buried his talons in the robber's tresses. There was a mixture of feet, legs,
teeth, and features for a moment, and when peace was restored King Edmund had a
watch-pocket full of blood, and the robber chieftain was wiping his stabber on one of the
royal tidies.
[Illustration: EDMUND THROWING LEOLF OUT.]
Edred now succeeded the deceased Edmund, his brother, and with a heavy heart took up
the eternal job of fighting the Danes. Edred set up a sort of provincial government over
Northumberland, the refractory district, and sent a governor and garrison there to see that
the Danes paid attention to what he said. St. Dunstan had considerable influence over
Edred, and was promoted a great deal by the king, who died in the year 955.
He was succeeded by Edwy the Fair, who was opposed by another Ethel. Between the
Ethels and the Welsh and Danes, there was little time left in England for golf or high tea,
and Edwy's reign was short and full of trouble.
He had trouble with St. Dunstan, charging him with the embezzlement of church funds,
and compelled him to leave the country. This was in retaliation for St. Dunstan's
overbearing order to the king. One evening, when a banquet was given him in honor of

his coronation, the king excused himself when the speeches got rather corky, and went
into the sitting-room to have a chat with his wife, Elgiva, of whom he was very fond, and
her mother. St. Dunstan, who had still to make a speech on Foreign Missions with a yard
or so of statistics, insisted on Edwy's return. An open outbreak was the result. The
Church fell upon the King with a loud, annual report, and when the débris was cleared
away, a little round-shouldered grave in the churchyard held all that was mortal of the
king. His wife was cruelly and fatally assassinated, and Edgar, his brother, began to reign.
This was in the year 959, and in what is now called the Middle Ages.
Edgar was called the Pacific. He paid off the church debt, made Dunstan Archbishop of
Canterbury, helped reform the church, and, though but sixteen years of age when he
removed all explosives from the throne and seated himself there, he showed that he had a
massive scope, and his subjects looked forward to much anticipation.
He sailed around the island every year to show the Danes how prosperous he was, and
made speeches which displayed his education.
His coronation took place thirteen