Bill Nyes Comic History of England

Bill Nye's Comic History of England

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Title: Comic History of England
Author: Bill Nye
Release Date: February 18, 2004 [EBook #11138]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COMIC HISTORY OF
ENGLAND ***

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[Illustration: LANDING OF THE ROMANS 54 B.C.]

Bill Nye's
Comic History of England

HEREIN WILL BE FOUND A RECITAL OF THE MANY EVENTFUL EVENTS
WHICH TRANSPIRED IN ENGLAND FROM THE DRUIDS TO HENRY VIII. THE
AUTHOR DOES NOT FEEL IT INCUMBENT ON HIM TO PRESERVE MORE
THAN THE DATES AND FACTS, AND THESE ARE CORRECT, BUT THE LIGHTS
AND SHADES OF THE VARIOUS PICTURES AND THE ORNAMENTAL WORDS
FURNISHED TO ADORN THE CHARACTERS AND EVENTS ARE THE SOLE
INVENTION OF THIS HISTORIAN.

[Illustration: KING RICHARD TRAVELING INCOG. THROUGH GERMANY.]
ILLUSTRATED BY
W.W. GOODES & A.M. RICHARDS

1896

PREFACE.
The readers of this volume will share our regret that the preface cannot be written by Mr.
Nye, who would have introduced his volume with a characteristically appropriate and
humorous foreword in perfect harmony with the succeeding narrative.
We need only say that this work is in the author's best vein, and will prove not only
amusing, but instructive as well; for the events, successions, dates, etc., are correct, and
the trend of actual facts is adhered to. Of course, these facts are "embellished," as Mr.
Nye would say, by his fancy, and the leading historical characters are made to play in
fantastic rôles. Underneath all, however, a shrewd knowledge of human nature is
betrayed, which unmasks motives and reveals the true inwardness of men and events with
a humorous fidelity.
The unfortunate illness to which Mr. Nye finally succumbed prevented the completion of
his history beyond the marriage of Henry VIII. to Anne Boleyn.
[Illustration: LANDING OF WILLIAM, PRINCE OF ORANGE, AT TORBAY (1688).]

TABLE OF CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.
INVASION OF CAESAR: THE DISCOVERY OF TIN AND CONSEQUENT
ENLIGHTENMENT OF BRITAIN

CHAPTER II.
THE VARIOUS ROMAN YOKES: THEIR GROWTH, DEGENERATION, AND
FINAL ELIMINATION

CHAPTER III.
THE ADVENT OF THE ANGLES: CAUSES WHICH LED TO THE
REHABILITATION OF BRITAIN ON NEW LINES

CHAPTER IV.
THE INFLUX OF THE DANES: FACTS SHOWING CONCLUSIVELY THEIR
INFLUENCE ON THE BRITON OF TO-DAY

CHAPTER V.
THE TROUBLOUS MIDDLE AGES: DEMONSTRATING A SHORT REIGN FOR
THOSE WHO TRAVEL AT A ROYAL GAIT

CHAPTER VI.
THE DANISH OLIGARCHY: DISAFFECTIONS ATTENDING CHRONIC
USURPATION PROCLIVITIES

CHAPTER VII.
OTHER DISAGREEABLE CLAIMANTS: FOREIGN FOIBLES INTRODUCED,
ONLY TO BE EXPUNGED WITH CHARACTERISTIC PUGNACITY

CHAPTER VIII.
THE NORMAN CONQUEST: COMPLEX COMMINGLING OF FACETIOUS
ACCORD AND IMPLACABLE DISCORD

CHAPTER IX.
THE FEUDAL SYSTEM: SUCCESSFUL INAUGURATION OF HOMOGENEAL
METHODS FOR RESTRICTING INCOMPATIBLE DEMAGOGUES

CHAPTER X.
THE AGE OF CHIVALRY: LIGHT DISSERTATION ON THE KNIGHTS-ERRANT,
MAIDS, FOOLS, PRELATES, AND OTHER NOTORIOUS CHARACTERS OF THAT
PERIOD

CHAPTER XI
CONQUEST OF IRELAND: UNCOMFORTABLE EFFECTS FOLLOWING THE
CULTIVATION OF AN ACQUISITORIAL PROPENSITY

CHAPTER XII.
MAGNA CHARTA INTRODUCED: SLIGHT DIFFICULTIES ENCOUNTERED IN
OVERCOMING AN UNPOPULAR AND UNREASONABLE PREJUDICE

CHAPTER XIII.
FURTHER DISAGREEMENTS RECORDED: ILLUSTRATING THE AMIABILITY
OF THE JEW AND THE PERVERSITY OF THE SCOT

CHAPTER XIV.
IRRITABILITY OF THE FRENCH: INTERMINABLE DISSENSION, ASSISTED BY
THE PLAGUE, CONTINUES REDUCING THE POPULATION

CHAPTER XV.
MORE SANGUINARY TRIUMPHS: ONWARD MARCH OF CIVILIZATION
GRAPHICALLY DELINEATED WITH THE HISTORIAN'S USUAL
COMPLETENESS

CHAPTER XVI.

UNPLEASANT CAPRICES OF ROYALTY: INTRODUCTION OF PRINTING AS A
SUBSIDIARY AID IN THE PROGRESS OF EMANCIPATION

CHAPTER XVII.
BIOGRAPHY OF RICHARD III.: BEING AN ALLEGORICAL PANEGYRIC OF THE
INCONTROVERTIBLE MACHINATIONS OF AN EGOTISTICAL USURPER

CHAPTER XVIII.
DISORDER STILL THE POPULAR FAD: GENERAL ADMIXTURE OF
PRETENDERS, RELIGION, POLITICS, AND DISGRUNTLED MONARCHS

[Illustration: THE DEATH OF MARY REVIVED THE HOPES OF THE FRIENDS OF
JAMES II., AND CONSPIRACIES WERE FORMED.]
[Illustration: DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH.]
[Illustration: GEORGE FOX.]
[Illustration: GENERAL BANKRUPTCY AND RUIN FOLLOWED THE CLOSING
OF THE EXCHEQUER OR TREASURY BY CHARLES II. (1672).]
[Illustration: CHARLES II.]
[Illustration: DUKE OF MONMOUTH IMPLORING FORGIVENESS OF JAMES II.
(1685).]

CHAPTER I.
INVASION OF CAESAR: THE DISCOVERY OF TIN AND CONSEQUENT
ENLIGHTENMENT OF BRITAIN.
[Illustration: BUST OF CAESAR.]
From the glad whinny of the first unicorn down to the tip end of the nineteenth century,
the history of Great Britain has been dear to her descendants in every land, 'neath every
sky.
But to write a truthful and honest history of any country the historian should, that he may

avoid overpraise