Basomas | Page 9

that he nodded his head at her and she trotted over to him like puppy dog girl. It was like a horrible love fest at the end.

I would have more pridenosity with my boyfriend. If I had a boyfriend.

6:00 p.m.

All alone at home.

Phone rang. I nervously picked it up, but it was only Mum telling me that they are at Grandvati�s for tea and do I want to go over. Is she mad?

6:02 p.m.

The rest of the gang have gone to the cinema. With their boyfriends. Not even a thought for my tragi-cosity. Well, to be fair, they did ask me to go, but I would have just been goosegog girl among the snoggers.

6:15 p.m.

Angus seems to understand what I am going through. He has leapt up onto my lap.

Nice.

Aaaah. He�s purring.

Really loudly actually.

Nice, though.

All comfy and warmy.

one minute later

Now he�s snuggling into me.

Nice.

He�s all cozy on my knee and I can read myVogue.

one minute later

He�s snuggling into my chest now which is nice, but a bit difficult for me to move my arms.

But he�s all comfy and�

Now he�s on my shoulders, like a fur cape.

He�s settled down now�that�s nice. He�s doing his snuggling and purring.

one minute later

Now he�s back on my lap�he�s actually on my magazine now.

one minute later

Now he�s back on my chest.

I CAN�T STAND ANY MORE OF THIS!!!!!!

five minutes later

It�s no use him just staring at me through the window. I�m not letting him in.

three minutes later

Staring and staring.

I�m going into the kitchen to see if there is anything to stave off scurvy.

two minutes later

Now he�s staring in through the kitchen window.

6:30 p.m.

He can�t stare at me in the bathroom because there is frosted glass. Hahahahaha.

He�d better not burrow in through the sewage system and pop up out of the loo.

No calls from anyone.

Not Masimo, not Dave the Laugh.

Too busy with his girlfriend, I suppose.

Really, I�m too upset and tired to do my beauty routine, but as someone once said, possibly onBig Brother, �When the going gets tough, the tough get moisturizing and plucking.�

If I am once again going to be spinster of the parish, I will at least be smoothy smooth.

in the bathroom

What does Dad do with his razors? They are so blunt! I�ve torn my legs to ribbons. I look like I�ve been playing hockey with the Piranha family. Ouchy ouch ouch!!!

And ouch.

I must staunch the flow. I�ve probably lost a leg full of blood already.

phone rang

Oh my giddy god�s pajamas. I hobbled over with my legs covered in bits of loo paper and picked up the receiver. I tried for a casual, nonchalant sort of voice, one that didn�t sound like I was bleeding to death.

�Hello.�

�Hello, you cheekyFr�ulein . You know you love it.�

It was Dave. Oh, I felt so happy I wanted to cry.

He said, �So what�s up, kittykat?�

And I started.

�After you went on Saturday night, the Luuurve God got on his huffmobile.�

Dave said, �And he didn�t say anything?�

�No, he just looked at me all sort of sad.�

�Was he crying?�

�Er, no.�

�Probably worried his mascara would run.�

�Dave.�

�I�m just being jovial Dave the Biscuit to lighten the mood.�

�Well, don�t be. I�m too upset.�

�Look, Georgia, this is a bit tricky for me. There�s Emma and well��

�Well what? I�m only asking you to be like the Hornmeister and tell me what to do.�

There was a pause and then he said, �OK, here�s what we�ll do. I�ll casually bump into him��

�And not mention pants or anything.�

�No, I will leave pants out of it. I�ll just say that there is nothing going on to have a girlie tizz about and��

�You won�t actually say the girlie tizz thing, will you?�

�Right, er, well, I�ll say�well, I don�t know exactly what I will say, just that we were having a laugh because�that�s what mates do.�

�And that�s true, isn�t it?�

There was another little pause and then Dave said, �Yeah, well, listen, I have to go now.�

And he was gone.

Had that gone well?

If so, why did I feel so funny?

10:30 p.m.

No call from Masimo.

10:32 p.m.

Still, on the bright side, we�ve got a budgie.

10:40 p.m.

Not for long, I suspect. Angus and Gordy have been staring at it since Vati brought it home from the birdy sanctuary.

midnight

If anyone can fix it, it�s the Hornmeister. I must get the Luuurve God back. It means everything to me.

I hadn�t even been able to properly show