Anti-Achitophel | Page 5

long Preface, like a tedious Compliment at the Door, but desire you to look in for your Entertainment. Onely I cannot forbear telling you, that one thing I am a little concern'd for you, _Tories_, that your _Absoloms_ and _Achitophels_, and the rest of your Grinning Satyres against the _Whiggs_, have this one unpardonable Fault, That the Lash is more against a _David_, than an _Achitophel_; whilst the running down of the PLOT at so extravagant a rate, savours of very little less (pardon the Expression) than ridiculing of Majesty it self, and turning all those several Royal Speeches to the Parliament on that Subject, onely into those double-tongu'd Oracles that sounded one thing, and meant another. Besides, after this unmannerly Boldness, of not onely branding the publick Justice of the Nation, but affronting even the Throne it self, to push the humour a little farther, you run into ten times a greater Vice, (and in the same strain too) than what you so severely inveigh against: and whilst a POPISH PLOT through want of sufficient Circumstances, and credible Witnesses, miscarries with you, a PROTESTANT PLOT without either Witness or Circumstance at all, goes currant. Nay you are so far now from your former niceties and scruples, and disparing about raising of Armies, and not one Commission found, that you can swallow the raising of a whole Protestant ARMY, without either Commission, or Commission-Officer; Nay, the very When, Where, and How, are no part of your Consideration. 'Tis true, the great Cry amongst you, is, The Nations Eyes are open'd; but I am afraid, in most of you, 'tis onely to look where you like best: and to help your lewd Eye-sight, you have got a damnable trick of turning the Perspective upon occasion, and magnifying or diminishing at pleasure. But alas, all talking to you is but impertinent, and fending and proving signifie just nothing; for after all Arguments, both Parties are so irreconcileable, that as the Author of _Absolom_ wisely observed, they'll be Fools or Knaves to each other to the end of the Chapter. And therefore I am so reasonable in this point, that should be very glad to divide 'em between 'em, and give the Fool to the _Tory_, and the Knave to the _Whigg_. For the _Tories_ that will believe no POPISH PLOT, may as justly come under that denomination, as They, that _David_ tells us, _said in their Hearts there was no God_. And then let the _Whiggs_ that do believe a _Popish Plot_ be the Knaves, for daring to endeavour to hinder the Effects of a _Popish Plot_, when the _Tories_ are resolved to the contrary. But to draw near a conclusion, I have one favour more to beg of you, that you'll give me the freedom of clapping but about a score of years extraordinary on the back of my _Absolom_. Neither is it altogether so unpardonable a Poetical License, since we find as great slips from the Author of your own _Absolom_, where we see him bring in a _Zimri_ into the Court of _David_, who in the Scripture-story dyed by the Hand of _Phineas_ in the days of _Moses_. Nay, in the other extream, we find him in another place talking of the Martyrdome of _Stephen_, so many Ages after. And if so famous an Author can forget his own Rules of Unity, Time, and Place, I hope you'll give a Minor Poet some grains of Allowance, and he shall ever acknowledge himself
Your Humble Servant.
Absalom Senior:
or,
ACHITOPHEL TRANSPROS'D.
In Gloomy Times, when Priestcraft bore the sway,?And made Heav'ns Gate a Lock to their own Key:?When ignorant Devotes did blindly bow,?And groaping to be sav'd they knew not now:?Whilst this _Egyptian_ darkness did orewhelm,?The Priest sate Pilot even at Empires Helm.?Then Royal Necks were yok'd, and Monarchs still?Hold but their Crowns at his Almighty Will.?And to defend this high Prerogative,?Falsely from Heaven he did that powr derive:?By a Commission forg'd i'th' hand of God,?Turn'd _Aarons_ blooming wand, to _Moses_ snaky Rod.?Whilst Princes little Scepters overpowr'd,?Made but that prey his wider Gorge devour'd.?Now to find Wealth might his vast pomp supply,?(For costly Roofs befit a Lord so high)?No Arts were spar'd his Luster to support,?But all Mines searcht t'enrich his shining Court.?Then Heav'n was bought, Religion but a Trade;?And Temples Murder's Sanctuary made.?By _Phineas_ Spear no bleeding _Cozbies_ groan'd,?If _Cozbies_ Gold for _Cozbies_ Crimes aton'd.?With these wise Arts, (for Humane Policy?As well as Heav'nly Truth, mounts Priests so high)?'Twixt gentle Penance, lazy Penitence,?A Faith that gratifies both Soul and Sense;?With easie steps to everlasting Bliss,?He paves the rugged way to Paradice.?Thus almost all the Proselyte-World he drives,?Whilst th'universal Drones buz to his Hives.?Implicite Faith Religion thus convey'd?Through little pipes to his great Channel laid,?Till Piety through such dark Conduits led,?Was poyson'd by the Spring