Advice to a Mother on the Management of her Children | Page 8

the reproach of
men, neither be afraid of their revilings. Never expose yourself to the
censure justly cast upon those who value the praise or the approbation
of men,--of giddy, thoughtless, sensual men, more than the praise of
God. Remember, my dear nephew, the solemn warning of our Lord: If
any man shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous
and sinful generation, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed when he
cometh in his glory with his holy angels.
In your steady adherence to the dictates of conscience, you will always
find some who will respect you for it; or, even if you should stand
alone, like Abdiel, "among the faithless, the only faithful," you will be
supported by the testimony of your own heart, and by an humble
confidence in the approbation of the Almighty. One or two instances
may, probably, make my meaning more clear.
Perhaps a few joyous spirits have devised some scheme of irregular,
sensual gratification,--of Bacchanalian revelry;--or, perhaps, two or
three dunces, whose intellects and moral feelings are of such a stamp,
as to render them rather impracticable subjects for academical

discipline, have contrived some plan of impotent resistance to the
college authorities, or some plot of petty and vexatious annoyance, in
order to give vent to their mortification, when such silly resistance has
been proved to be ineffectual. Wishing for the screen or protection of
numbers, they will try to persuade their companions, that they will be
wanting in manly spirit, or in social feeling, if they refuse to join them.
And is there, after all, any thing so very spirited, any thing of
high-minded and noble daring in behaviour, which seeks to screen
itself by concealment and subterfuge, and which, if detected, braves,
not any personal danger or suffering, but merely the terrors of an
imposition? If the offence is so aggravated as to entail the heavier
penalty, rustication, or expulsion, such punishment inflicts, indeed,
severe grief upon the parents and friends of the offender; but he himself,
with the short-sightedness of folly, perhaps almost enjoys the idleness
and the freedom from academical restraint, to which rustication
consigns him. A young Oxonian is apt to feel very indignant if not
treated by deans and tutors, as a man and as a gentleman; but has he
any right to expect to be so treated, if he condescends to adopt the
practices of a mischievous or a truant school boy?
I am no friend to the unnecessary imposition of oaths; but, I own, I do
not see how any thing like deliberate and systematic opposition to
academical authority, can be reconciled with the oath of academical
obedience taken by every freshman. I know well that the usual
construction of that oath,--(I doubt not the legitimate construction)--is,
that the person who takes it will obey the statutes, or submit to the
penalty imposed upon the infraction of them. I am aware, too, that the
violation of the strict letter of many of the statutes is acquiesced in, and
almost sanctioned, by those in authority; but surely a deliberate and
contumacious contravention of the statutes, accompanied by a natural
endeavour to evade punishment, is hardly consistent with the spirit of
the oath. Certainly it is inconsistent with the spirit of Christianity,
which everywhere inculcates a dutiful submission to the constituted
authorities; a compliance, in all things lawful, with the regulations of
the place in which we are, and of the society which has received us
among its members. No man is compelled to go to the University; but if
he does go thither, he should make up his mind to comply with its rules,

during the short period of his residence.
Perhaps, my dear nephew, you may think that I have all this time been
combating, or, rather, seeking to lay, a phantom of my own raising; that
I have been making mole-hills into mountains; or, like Don Quixote,
turning wind-mills into giants: but, in my long Oxford life, I have heard
of so many instances of the silly behaviour of which I have been
speaking, that I wish to put you on your guard against it. True
manliness consists in adhering to what you think to be right. In keeping
steadily to the path of duty, notwithstanding the solicitations, or the
taunts, or the ridicule of your associates, there is more proper spirit and
moral courage, than in braving the rebuke or the impositions of a dean
or a proctor.
I remain, My dear Nephew, Your affectionate Uncle.

LETTER V.
IMPROVEMENT OF TIME.
MY DEAR NEPHEW,
I trust that you are now hard at work. I can figure you with your
Herodotus before you, your Scapula on one side, and your maps on the
other, setting-to in good earnest. You