A Woman of No Importance | Page 5

[SIR JOHN gets up and goes off.]
LADY HUNSTANTON. You spoil him, Caroline, you do indeed!
[Enter MRS. ALLONBY and LADY STUTFIELD.]
[To MRS. ALLONBY.] Well, dear, I hope you like the park. It is said to be well
timbered.
MRS. ALLONBY. The trees are wonderful, Lady Hunstanton.
LADY STUTFIELD. Quite, quite wonderful.
MRS. ALLONBY. But somehow, I feel sure that if I lived in the country for six months,
I should become so unsophisticated that no one would take the slightest notice of me.
LADY HUNSTANTON. I assure you, dear, that the country has not that effect at all.
Why, it was from Melthorpe, which is only two miles from here, that Lady Belton eloped
with Lord Fethersdale. I remember the occurrence perfectly. Poor Lord Belton died three
days afterwards of joy, or gout. I forget which. We had a large party staying here at the
time, so we were all very much interested in the whole affair.
MRS. ALLONBY. I think to elope is cowardly. It's running away from danger. And

danger has become so rare in modern life.
LADY CAROLINE. As far as I can make out, the young women of the present day seem
to make it the sole object of their lives to be always playing with fire.
MRS. ALLONBY. The one advantage of playing with fire, Lady Caroline, is that one
never gets even singed. It is the people who don't know how to play with it who get
burned up.
LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; I see that. It is very, very helpful.
LADY HUNSTANTON. I don't know how the world would get on with such a theory as
that, dear Mrs. Allonby.
LADY STUTFIELD. Ah! The world was made for men and not for women.
MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, don't say that, Lady Stutfield. We have a much better time than
they have. There are far more things forbidden to us than are forbidden to them.
LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; that is quite, quite true. I had not thought of that.
[Enter SIR JOHN and MR. KELVIL.]
LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, Mr. Kelvil, have you got through your work?
KELVIL. I have finished my writing for the day, Lady Hunstanton. It has been an
arduous task. The demands on the time of a public man are very heavy nowadays, very
heavy indeed. And I don't think they meet with adequate recognition.
LADY CAROLINE. John, have you got your overshoes on?
SIR JOHN. Yes, my love.
LADY CAROLINE. I think you had better come over here, John. It is more sheltered.
SIR JOHN. I am quite comfortable, Caroline.
LADY CAROLINE. I think not, John. You had better sit beside me. [SIR JOHN rises
and goes across.]
LADY STUTFIELD. And what have you been writing about this morning, Mr. Kelvil?
KELVIL. On the usual subject, Lady Stutfield. On Purity.
LADY STUTFIELD. That must be such a very, very interesting thing to write about.
KELVIL. It is the one subject of really national importance, nowadays, Lady Stutfield. I
purpose addressing my constituents on the question before Parliament meets. I find that
the poorer classes of this country display a marked desire for a higher ethical standard.
LADY STUTFIELD. How quite, quite nice of them.
LADY CAROLINE. Are you in favour of women taking part in politics, Mr. Kettle?
SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil.
KELVIL. The growing influence of women is the one reassuring thing in our political life,
Lady Caroline. Women are always on the side of morality, public and private.
LADY STUTFIELD. It is so very, very gratifying to hear you say that.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, yes! - the moral qualities in women - that is the important
thing. I am afraid, Caroline, that dear Lord Illingworth doesn't value the moral qualities in
women as much as he should.
[Enter LORD ILLINGWORTH.]
LADY STUTFIELD. The world says that Lord Illingworth is very, very wicked.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. But what world says that, Lady Stutfield? It must be the next
world. This world and I are on excellent terms. [Sits down beside MRS. ALLONBY.]
LADY STUTFIELD. Every one I know says you are very, very wicked.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays,
saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.

LADY HUNSTANTON. Dear Lord Illingworth is quite hopeless, Lady Stutfield. I have
given up trying to reform him. It would take a Public Company with a Board of Directors
and a paid Secretary to do that. But you have the secretary already, Lord Illingworth,
haven't you? Gerald Arbuthnot has told us of his good fortune; it is really most kind of
you.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh, don't say that, Lady Hunstanton. Kind is a dreadful word. I
took a great fancy to young Arbuthnot the moment I met him, and he'll be