A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Vol. IX | Page 7

a drachm,[7] you speed.
ANS. Ay, say you so?
FUL. Beware of blushing, sirrah, Of fear and too much eloquence! Rail on her husband, his misusing her, And make that serve thee as an argument, That she may sooner yield to do him wrong. Were it my case, my love and I to plead, I have't at fingers' ends: who could miss the clout, Having so fair a white, such steady aim. This is the upshot: now bid for the game.
[ANSELM advances.
ANS. Fair mistress, God save you!
FUL. What a circumstance Doth he begin with; what an ass is he, To tell her at the first that she is fair; The only means to make her to be coy! He should have rather told her she was foul, And brought her out of love quite with herself; And, being so, she would the less have car'd, Upon whose secrets she had laid her love. He hath almost marr'd all with that word fair. [Aside.[8]]
ANS. Mistress, God save you!
FUL. What a block is that, To say, God save you! is the fellow mad? Once to name God in his ungodly suit.
MRS ART. You are welcome, sir. Come you to speak with me Or with my husband? pray you, what's your will?
FUL. She answers to the purpose; what's your will? O zounds, that I were there to answer her.
ANS. Mistress, my will is not so soon express'd Without your special favour, and the promise Of love and pardon, if I speak amiss.
FUL. O ass! O dunce! O blockhead! that hath left The plain broad highway and the readiest path, To travel round about by circumstance: He might have told his meaning in a word, And now hath lost his opportunity. Never was such a truant in love's school; I am asham'd that e'er I was his tutor.
MRS ART. Sir, you may freely speak, whate'er it be, So that your speech suiteth with modesty.
FUL. To this now could I answer passing well.
ANS. Mistress, I, pitying that so fair a creature--
FUL. Still fair, and yet I warn'd the contrary.
ANS. Should by a villain be so foully us'd, As you have been--
FUL. _As you have been_--ay, that was well put in!
ANS. If time and place were both convenient[9]-- Have made this bold intrusion, to present My love and service to your sacred self.
FUL. Indifferent, that was not much amiss.
MRS ART. Sir, what you mean by service and by love, I will not know; but what you mean by villain, I fain would know.
ANS. That villain is your husband, Whose wrongs towards you are bruited through the land. O, can you suffer at a peasant's hands, Unworthy once to touch this silken skin, To be so rudely beat and buffeted? Can you endure from such infectious breath, Able to blast your beauty, to have names Of such impoison'd hate flung in your face?
FUL. O, that was good, nothing was good but that; That was the lesson that I taught him last.
ANS. O, can you hear your never-tainted fame Wounded with words of shame and infamy? O, can you see your pleasures dealt away, And you to be debarr'd all part of them, And bury it in deep oblivion? Shall your true right be still contributed 'Mongst hungry bawds, insatiate courtesans? And can you love that villain, by whose deed Your soul doth sigh, and your distress'd heart bleed?
FUL. All this as well as I could wish myself.
MRS ART. Sir, I have heard thus long with patience; If it be me you term a villain's wife, In sooth you have mistook me all this while, And neither know my husband nor myself; Or else you know not man and wife is one. If he be call'd a villain, what is she, Whose heart and love, and soul, is one with him? 'Tis pity that so fair a gentleman Should fall into such villains' company. O, sir, take heed, if you regard your life, Meddle not with a villain or his wife. [Exit.
FUL. O, that same word villain hath marr'd all.
ANS. Now where is your instruction? where's the wench? Where are my hopes? where your directions?
FUL. Why, man, in that word villain you marr'd all. To come unto an honest wife, and call Her husband villain! were he[10] ne'er so bad, Thou might'st well think she would not brook that name For her own credit, though no love to him. But leave not thus, but try some other mean; Let not one way thy hopes make frustrate clean.
ANS. I must persist my love against my will; He that knows all things, knows I prove this will.
Exeunt.

ACT II., SCENE I.
A School.
Enter AMINADAB, _with a rod in his hand, and_ BOYS with their books.
AMIN. Come, boys, come, boys, rehearse your parts, And then, _ad prandium; jam, jam, incipe_!
1ST BOY. Forsooth, my lesson's torn