A Lecture On Heads | Page 6

it off.] As this is the head of a Blood going to keep it up [takes it off], here is the head of a Blood after he has kept it up. [Shews that head.] This is the head of a married Blood--what a pretty piece of additional furniture this is to a lady of delicacy's bed-chamber: What then? it's beneath a man of spirit, with a bumper in his hand, to think of a wife: that would be spoiling his sentiment: no, he is to keep it up, and to shew in what manner our London Bloods do keep it up. We shall conclude the first part of this lecture by attempting a specimen--[puts on the Blood's wig]: "Keep it up, huzza! {19}keep it up! I loves fun, for I made a fool of my father last April day. I will tell you what makes me laugh so; we were keeping it up, faith, so about four o'clock this morning I went down into the kitchen, and there was Will the waiter fast asleep by the kitchen fire; the dog cannot keep it up as we do: so what did I do, but I goes softly, and takes the tongs, and I takes a great red-hot coal out of the fire, as big as my head, and I plumpt it upon the fellow's foot, because I loves fun; so it has lamed the fellow, and that makes me laugh so. You talk of your saying good things; I said one of the best things last week that ever any man said in all the world. It was what you call your rappart��es, your bobinates. I'll tell you what it was: You must know, I was in high spirits, faith, so I stole a dog from a blind man, for I do love fun! so then the blind man cried for his dog, and that made me laugh; so says I to the blind man, 'Hip, master, do you want your dog?' 'Yes, sir,' says he. Now, only mind what I said to the blind man. Says I, 'Do you want your dog?' 'Yes, sir,' says he. Then says I to the blind man, says I, 'Go look for him.'--Keep it up! keep it up!--That's the worst of it, I always turn sick when I think of a parson, I always do; and my brother he {20}is a parson too, and he hates to hear any body swear; so I always swear when I am along with him, to roast him. I went to dine with him one day last week, and there was my sisters, and two or three more of what you call your modest women; but I sent 'em all from the table before the dinner was half over, for I loves fun; and so there was nobody but my brother and me, and I begun to swear; I never swore so well in all my life; I swore all my new oaths; it would have done you good to have heard me swear: so then, my brother looked frightened, and that was fun. At last he laid down his knife and fork, and lifting up his hands and his eyes, he calls out, Oh Tempora! oh Mores!---'Oh ho, brother!' says I, 'what, you think to frighten me, by calling all your family about you; but I don't mind you, nor your family neither--Only bring Tempora and Mores here, that's all; I'll box them for five pounds; here,--where's Tempora and Mores? where are they?--Keep it up! keep it up!"
END OF
PART I.


PART II.
THE FIVE SCIENCES: ARCHITECTURE, PAINTING, POETRY, MUSIC, AND ASTRONOMY.
{21}This is a small exhibition of pictures. These pictures are placed here to shew the partiality of the present times. Formerly seven cities contended for the honour of having Homer for their countryman; but as soon as it was known these sciences were born in England, the whole club of Connoiseurs exclaimed against them, saying, it was impossible that there could be any real genius among them, our atmosphere being too thick and too heavy to nourish any fine ideas. These sciences, being found out to be mere English, were treated as impostors; for, as they had not ft handsome wife, nor sister, to speak for them, not one single election vote in their family, nor a shilling in their pockets to bribe the turnpike {22}door-keeper, they could not succeed; besides, Chinese, zig-zag, and gothic imitations, monopolized all premiums: and the envy of prejudice, and the folly of fashion, made a party against them. They were so weak in themselves, as to imagine the merits of their works would recommend them to the world. Poor creatures! they knew nothing of the world, to suppose so; for merit is the only thing in the world not recommendable. To prevent starving,