A Grandpas Not | Page 4

ideas and models for grandparents to meet the needs-and the
yearnings-of this era's grandchildren and children generally are in the
observations and experiences of older adults. It is not up to our young
grandchildren to say what in our life's experiences might be useful or
enlightening to them? If it was up to them, how might they draw it out
of us? A paradox indeed.
This is not a child's storybook, although some of the stories, vignettes
and essays may interest youth from toddlers to young adults and, from
other perspectives, parents, grandparents, and teachers. The book's
intent is to demonstrate one older lay person's approach to fostering
interaction between generations in the context of family, school and

culture.

PART ONE WE LEARN FROM EACH OTHER

One of the ground rules in writing my 'grandpa' stories was to keep
within the youngsters' range of comprehension and imagination, and
about living things, objects, activities and places to which their
imaginations could relate. In fantasy stories, when my grandchildren
were very young, for instance, I animated toys familiar to them, or
modified characters from their favorite books and sent them off on
adventures that did not frighten or cause them apprehension for the
toy's safety. At the story's conclusion, the toys and characters were
back in a familiar and comfortable setting.
Deliberate destructive behavior in stories and anecdotes for the very
young, I believe, serves no useful purpose. The young are already
exposed to far more negative forces in the general run of storybooks,
television shows, Internet games and the real world. Grandpas and
grandmas don't need to pile them on. To the contrary, grandparents can
influence a young mind toward reason and compassion. The tales they
tell can be stabilizing forces in the day-to-day bustle and high
excitement of the very young and, by the nature of a grandparent's role,
suggest channels for positive values.
First Letter to a Distant Grandchild
Don't let that blank sheet of paper intimidate you. Here's a model that
you can rework to suit your situation:
Grandma and Grandpa now live in a house that is very far from the
town in which you live. We'll still see each other as often as we can,
but sometimes the wait will be just a little bit longer.
One way for us to visit is by telephoning. Another is by our writing
letters to you that Mom or Dad will read aloud to you. I'll start my
writing to you by telling a little about Grandmas and Grandpas.
Grandmas and Grandpas are older than mothers and fathers. They
usually have gray hair or white hair. Sometimes, Grandpas have no hair
at all, but that's all right because Grandpas don't need to use a comb and
hair brush every morning.
Grandmas and Grandpas like to take grandchildren to the zoo to see the
elephants and the deer and the monkeys. They also like to take

grandchildren to the park to ride on the merry-go-round, and to the lake
to throw bread to the ducks and the geese and the swans.
On the way home from the zoo or the park, Grandmas and Grandpas
take grandchildren to the bakery. There, they stand at the counter and
smell the fresh bread, and buy cookies and cakes for desserts.
Grandmas and Grandpas like to play games with grandchildren, listen
to grandchildren tell what happened in the park and at school, and
answer questions. They especially like to read stories to grandchildren
from big books with lots of pictures.
Grandmas and Grandpas like to hold grandchildren in their laps and
hug them. Grandpas also like to shake hands, or pat grandchildren on
their heads. That is a little bit about Grandmas and Grandpas and
Grandchildren.
Too-Faraway Grandparent
During a talk I gave to a senior citizens group a woman in the audience
remarked, 'I'm a volunteer helper in a class of first graders at (naming a
nearby school.) I haven't given it much thought until now, but I've
come to realize that some youngsters see their grandparents regularly,
others rarely, and still others see their grandparents not at all. For a few,
grandparents live too far away, and others don't know where their
grandparents live or even if they have grandparents, but saddest of all
are the kids who don't know what grandparents are.'
Grandparents and grandchildren are natural allies, but when their
homes are too far apart, or other barriers intervene, their alliance
weakens. Everybody loses, including the youngsters' parents-the
generation in the middle.
How My Stories Began
I live in one city, my grandchildren in another almost a thousand miles
distant. During one of my visits I took my, then, three-year-old
granddaughter for a stroll. We paused to examine a spider's web
spanning a space between two shrubs. A rain shower