A Defective Santa Claus | Page 2

Trip, an' _whimpers_, it's a sign?He'll ketch _eight_ rabbits--mayby _nine_--?Afore his fleas'll wake him--nen?He'll bite hisse'f to sleep again
An _try_ to dream he's go' ketch _ten_."?An' when Ma's gone again back in?The kitchen, Uncle scratch his chin?An' say, "When Santy Claus an' Pa?An' me wuz little boys--an' Ma,?When she's 'bout big as Etty there;--?W'y,--'When we're _growed_--no matter _where_,'?Santy he cross' his heart an' say,--?'I'll come to see you, all, some day?When _you'_ got childerns--all but me?An' pore old Sid!'" Nen Uncle he?Ist kindo' shade his eyes an' pour'
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
'Bout forty-'leven bushels more?O' popcorn out the skillut there?In Ma's new basket on the chair.?An' nen he telled us--an' talk' low,
"So Ma can't hear," he say:--"You know?Yer _Pa_ know', when he drived away,?Tomorry's go' be Chris'mus-_Day_;--?Well, nen _tonight_," he whisper, "see?--?It's go' be Chris'mus-_Eve_," says-ee,?"An', like yer Pa hint, when he went,?Old Santy Claus (now hush!) he's sent?Yer Pa a postul-card, an' write?He's shorely go' be here tonight....?That's why yer Pa's so bored to be?_Away_ tonight, when Santy he?Is go' be here, sleighbells an' all,
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
To make you kids a Chris'mus-call!"?An' we're so glad to know _fer shore_?He's comin', I roll on the floor--?An' here come Trip a-waller'n' roun'
An' purt'-nigh knock the clo'eshorse down!--?An' Etty grab Lee-Bob an' prance?All roun' the room like it's a dance--?Till Ma she come an' march us nen?To dinner, where we're _still_ again,?But _tickled_ so we ist can't eat?But pie, an' ist the hot mincemeat?With raisins in.--But _Uncle_ et,?An' _Ma_. An' there they set an' set?Till purt'-nigh supper-time; nen we?Tell him he's got to fix the Tree?'Fore _Santy_ gits here, like he said.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
We go nen to the old woodshed--?All bundled up, through the deep snow--?"An' snowin' yet, _jee-rooshy-O_!"?Uncle he said, an' he'p us wade
Back where's the Chris'mus-Tree he's made?Out of a little jackoak-top?He git down at the sawmill-shop--?An' Trip 'ud run ahead, you know,?An' 'tend-like he 'uz _eatin'_ snow--?When we all waddle back with it;?An' Uncle set it up--an' git?It wite in front the fireplace--'cause?He says "'Tain't _so_ 'at Santy Claus?Comes down _all_ chimblies,--least, tonight?He's comin' in _this_ house all right--?By the front-door, as ort to be!--
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
We'll all be hid where we can _see_!"?Nen he look up, an' he see Ma?An' say, "It's ist too bad their _Pa_?Can't be here, so's to see the fun
The childern _will_ have, ever' one!"?Well, _we_!--We hardly couldn't wait?Till it wuz dusk, an' dark an' late?Enough to light the lamp!--An' LeeBob?light a candle on the Tree--?"Ist _one_--'cause I'm 'The Lighter'!"--Nen?He clumb on Uncle's knee again?An' hug us _bofe_;--an' Etty git?Her little chist an' set on it?Wite clos't, while Uncle telled some more?'Bout Santy Claus, an' clo'es he wore?"_All maked o' furs, an' trimmed as white_
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
_As cotton is, er snow at night_!"?An' nen, all sudden-like, he say,--?"_Hush! Listen there! Hain't that a sleigh?An' sleighbells jinglin'_?" Trip go "_whooh_!"
Like _he_ hear bells an' _smell_ 'em, too.?Nen we all listen.... An'-sir, shore?Enough, we hear bells--more an' more?A-jinglin' clos'ter--clos'ter still?Down the old crook-road roun' the hill.?An' Uncle he jumps up, an' all?The chairs he jerks back by the wall?An' th'ows a' overcoat an' pair?O' winder-curtains over there?An' says, "_Hide quick, er you're too late!--?Them bells is stoppin' at the gate!--?Git back o' them-'air chairs an' hide_,
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
_'Cause I hear Santy's voice outside_!"?An' _Bang! bang! bang!_ we heerd the door--?Nen it flewed open, an' the floor?Blowed full o' snow--that's _first_ we saw,
Till little Lee-Bob shriek' at Ma?"_There's Santy Claus!--I know him by?His big white mufftash!_"--an' ist cry?An' laugh an' _squeal_ an' dance an' _yell_--?Till, when he quiet down a spell,?Old Santy bow an' th'ow a kiss?To him--an' one to me an' Sis--?An' nen go _clos't_ to Ma an' stoop?An' kiss her--An' nen give a whoop?That _fainted_ her!--'Cause when he bent?An' kiss her, he ist backed an' went?Wite 'ginst the Chris'mus-Tree ist where
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
The candle's at Lee-Bob lit there!--?An' set his white-fur belt afire--?An' blaze streaked roun' his waist an' higher?Wite up his old white beard an' th'oat!--
Nen Uncle grabs th' old overcoat?An' flops it over Santy's head,?An' swing the door wide back an' said,?"Come out, old man!--an' _quick_ about?It!--I've ist _got_ to put you out!"?An' out he sprawled him in the snow--?"Now _roll_!" he says--"_Hi-roll-ee-O_!"--?An' Santy, sputter'n' "_Ouch! Gee-whiz!_"?Ist roll an' roll fer all they is!?An' Trip he's out there, too,--I know,?'Cause I could hear him yappin' so--?An' I heerd Santy, wunst er twic't,
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
Say, as he's rollin', "_Drat the fice't_!"?Nen Uncle come back in, an' shake?Ma up, an' say, "Fer mercy-sake!--?He hain't hurt none!" An' nen he said,--
"You youngsters h'ist up-stairs to bed!--?Here! kiss yer Ma 'Good-night,' an' me,--?We'll he'p old Santy fix the Tree--?An' all yer whistles, horns an' drums?I'll he'p you toot when morning comes!"

It's long while 'fore we go to sleep,--?'Cause down-stairs, all-time somepin' keep?A-kindo' scufflin' roun' the floors--?An' openin' doors, an' _shettin'_ doors--?An' could hear Trip a-whinin', too,?Like he don't know ist _what_ to do--
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
An' tongs a-clankin'