A Defective Santa Claus | Page 3

twic't,
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
Say, as he's rollin', "_Drat the fice't_!"
Nen Uncle come back in, an'
shake
Ma up, an' say, "Fer mercy-sake!--
He hain't hurt none!" An'
nen he said,--
"You youngsters h'ist up-stairs to bed!--
Here! kiss yer Ma
'Good-night,' an' me,--
We'll he'p old Santy fix the Tree--
An' all yer
whistles, horns an' drums
I'll he'p you toot when morning comes!"

It's long while 'fore we go to sleep,--
'Cause down-stairs, all-time
somepin' keep
A-kindo' scufflin' roun' the floors--
An' openin' doors,
an' _shettin'_ doors--
An' could hear Trip a-whinin', too,
Like he
don't know ist _what_ to do--
[Illustration]
[Illustration]

An' tongs a-clankin' down _k'thump_!--
Nen some one squonkin' the
old pump--
An' _Wooh!_ how cold it soun' out there!
I could ist
_see_ the pump-spout where
It's got ice chin-whiskers all wet
An' drippy--An' I see it yet!
An'
nen, seem-like, I hear some mens
A-talkin' out there by the fence,

An' one says, "Oh, 'bout twelve o'clock!"
"Nen," 'nother'n says,
"Here's to you, Doc!--
_God bless us ever' one_!" An' nen
I heerd
the old pump squonk again.
An' nen I say my prayer all through

Like Uncle Sidney learn' me to,--
"O Father mine, e'en as Thine own,

This child looks up to Thee alone:
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
Asleep or waking, give him still
His Elder Brother's wish and will."

An' that's the last I know.... Till Ma
She's callin' us--an' so is
_Pa_,--
He holler "_Chris'mus-gif'_!" an' say,--
"I'm got back home fer
Chris'mus-Day!--
An' Uncle Sid's here, too--an' he
Is nibblin' 'roun'
yer Chris'mus-Tree!"
Nen _Uncle_ holler, "I suppose
Yer Pa's so
proud he's froze his nose
He wants to turn it up at us,
'Cause
_Santy_ kick' up such a fuss--
Tetchin' hisse'f off same as ef
He
wuz his own fireworks hisse'f!"
An' when we're down-stairs,--shore enough,
Pa's nose _is_ froze an'
salve an' stuff
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
All on it--an' one hand's froze, too,
An' got a old yarn red-and-blue

Mitt on it--"An' he's froze some more
Acrost his chist, an' kindo' sore

All roun' his _dy_-fram," Uncle say.--
"But Pa he'd ort a-seen the way

_Santy_ bear up last night when thatAir
fire break out, an'
quicker'n _scat_
He's all a-blazin', an' them-'air
Gun-cotton
whiskers that he wear
Ist _flashin'_!--till I burn a hole
In the snow
with him, and he roll
The front-yard dry as Chris'mus jokes
Old
parents plays on little folks!
But, long's a smell o' tow er wool,
I
kep' him rollin' _beautiful_!--
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
Till I wuz _shore_ I _shorely_ see
He's _squenched_! W'y, hadn't
b'en fer _me_,
That old man might a-burnt clear down

Clean--plum'--level with the groun'!"
Nen Ma say, "_There_, Sid; that'll do!--
Breakfast is
ready--_Chris'mus_, too.--
Your voice 'ud soun' best, sayin' _Grace_--

Say it." An' Uncle bow' his face
An' say so long a _Blessing_ nen,

Trip bark' _two_ times 'fore it's "A-men!"
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
End of Project Gutenberg's A Defective Santa Claus, by James
Whitcomb Riley
0. END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DEFECTIVE
SANTA CLAUS ***
. This file should be named 20181.txt or 20181.zip ***** This
and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
. http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/1/8/20181/
Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Garcia and the Online

Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will be
renamed.
Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set
forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying
and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the
PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge
for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you do not
charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the rules is
very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as
creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. They
may be modified and printed and given away--you may do practically
ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is subject to
the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.
0. START: FULL LICENSE ***
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE
READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS
WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or
any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
http://gutenberg.org/license).
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property

(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the
terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all
copies