A Brief Memoir | Page 5

thing.
Still this little spark of love that remains, seems to
hope in
Him "who will not quench the smoking flax."

6th Mo. 4th. I have cause to be very watchful.
Satan is at hand:
temptations abound, and it is no
easy matter to keep in the right way.
To have my
affections crucified to the world is my desire. The
way
to the celestial city, is not only through the
valley of humiliation, but
also through the valley
of the shadow of death.
6th Mo. 11th. Many things have lately occurred
which have flattered
my vanity. I have received
compliments and commendations: old
Adam likes
these things, and persuades me that I am somebody,

and may well feel complacency. How needful is
watchfulness! may
the true light discover to me the
snares that are set on every side.
7th Mo. 2d. May I be enabled to give myself up
as clay into the
Potter's hand, without mixing up
any thing of my own contriving; and
in the silence
of all flesh, wait to have the true seed watered and

nourished by heavenly dew.
8th Mo. 2d. I feel humbled at the sight of my
many backslidings and
deficiencies. Oh, may He,
"who is touched with a feeling of our
infirmities," in
just judgment, remember mercy. If He does not,

there can be no hope for me; but oh! I trust He
will. "Let not Thy
hand spare, nor Thine eye pity,
till Thou hast made me what thou
wouldst have me
to be."
8th Mo. 20th. Utterly unworthy! Oh, my
Father! if there be any right
beginning, if there
be the least spark of good within me, carry it on:

oh, increase it, that I may become as a plant of thy
right hand planting,
that I may become a sheep of
thy fold. Assist me to present myself
before thee
in true silence, that I may wait upon thee in truth,
and
worship thee in the silence of all flesh, and
know "all my treasure, all
my springs, in Thee."
10th Mo. 13th. We have just been favored with
a visit from J.P.,
which has been to me a great
comfort. At our Monthly Meeting he

addressed
the young; and it seemed as though he spoke the
very
thoughts of my heart; and the sweet supplication
offered on their
behalf that they might be
preserved from the snares of the delusive
world,
may it be answered.
4th Mo. 15th, 1838. I want to give up every
thing, every thought,
every affection, in short, my
whole self, to my offered Saviour. Then
would His
kingdom come, and His will be done. Instead of
the
thorn would come up the fir-tree, and instead
of the brier the
myrtle-tree. How precious, how
holy, how peaceful, that kingdom!
Oh! if I may
yet hope; if mercy is left, I beseech Thee, hear and

behold me, and bring me "out of the miry clay, and
set my feet upon
the rock."
5th Mo. 26th, 1839. A beautiful First-day.
Every thing sweet and
lovely; fulfilling the purpose
of its creation as far as man is not
concerned. Birds
and insects formed for happiness, are now
completely
happy. But ah! they were formed to give glory to
God,
by testifying to man His goodness. Ten thousand
voices call upon me
to employ the nobler
talents intrusted for the same purpose. Nearly

sixteen years have I been warned, and sweetly
called upon to awake
out of sleep: "What meanest
thou, O sleeper? arise, and call upon thy
God!"
How shall I account, in the last day, for these
things? It is
often startling to think how time is
advancing, and how ill the day's
work keeps pace
with the day. For even now, poor drowsy creature

that I am, it is but occasional sensibility, with the
intervals buried in
vain dreams; and even at such
times, my poor warped affections, and
busy imaginations,
crowded with a multitude of images, refuse to

yield to the command, "Be still, and know that I
am God." I have,
indeed, found that in whatever
circumstances I may he placed, I can
never be really
happy without the religion of the heart; without

making the Lord my habitation; and oh, may it be

mine, through
Christ's humbling and sanctifying
operations, to know every corner of

my heart made
fit for the dwelling-place of Him who is with the

meek and contrite ones. Then shall the remaining
days of my
pilgrimage be occupied in the energetic
employment of those talents
which must otherwise
rise up for my condemnation in the last day.
6th Mo. 2d. It is not for me to say any more
"thus far will I go, but no
farther," either in the
narrow or the broad way. In the former, we
cannot
refuse to proceed without receding; in the latter, if
we will
take any steps, it is impossible to restrain
ourselves. Besetting sins,
though apparently opposite
ones, sad stumbling-blocks in the way of
the
cross, are unrestrained activity of thought and
indolence: the
former proceeds from earthly-mindedness;
and the latter as a sure
consequence from
the want of heavenly-mindedness. Oh that by

keeping very close to Jesus, my wandering heart
may receive the
impression of His hand, that the
new creation may indeed be
witnessed, wherein
Jerusalem is a rejoicing and her people a