9 Steps To Save Your Marriage For The Husband | Page 5

be truly sorry, or forget
reconciliation.
• That his transgressions weren’t because she was an unsatisfactory or
unsatisfying wife.
• Strong indication that her husband really loves her, and wants to save
the marriage.
• Persuasive evidence that he was committed to their marriage for life,
and nothing that might happen in the future would jeopardize that.
(The research showed that women, in general, were not as interested
in promises of “never again,” because they tend to think men are not

Wife’s Module
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capable of keeping those promises. The fear was that any possible
future episode could break up their marriage at a time when the wife
was less likely to find another relationship. Another way to put this
would be the spoken or unspoken agreement, “If I forgive you now
and take you back, you won’t take my best years and then dump me
when I’m old and less likely to form a new relationship.”)
• A clear commitment that if she forgives him this transgression, he will
never, ever, ever expose her in the future to public humiliation or a
sexually transmitted disease. (Many women evidently think that once
an adulterer, a man is likely to be an adulterer again, and if she
accepts him back the first time, she asks that he never expose her to
public humiliation by being indiscrete, careless, or reckless, and that
he be extremely careful to not expose her to potentially life-
threatening diseases like AIDS or the embarrassment of STDs.)
• Recognition that his acts were really difficult to forgive and that he
would appreciate it forever, if she would forgive him and resume the
marriage. (The view seemed to be that a man could promise lifelong
appreciation and mean it, whereas he might not be trusted to promise
lifelong fidelity.)