saying, �So stop whining, Elena, and think. Think. Start
from the beginning.�
The beginning? What was the beginning? Stefan?
No, she had lived in Fell�s Church long before Stefan came.
Slowly, almost dreamily, she spoke into her mobile. �In the first place: who am I? I�m
Elena Gilbert, age eighteen.� Even more slowly, she said, �I
�don�t think it�s vain to say that I�m beautiful. If I didn�t know I was, I�d have to have never looked in a mirror or heard a compliment. It�s not something I
should be proud of�it�s just something that was passed down from Mom and Dad. �What do I look like? I have blond hair that falls in sort of waves past my shoulders and blue eyes that some people have said are like lapis lazuli:
dark blue with splashes of gold.� She gave a half-choked laugh. �Maybe that�s why vampires like me.�
Then her lips tightened and, staring into the utter blackness around her, she spoke seriously.
�A lot of boys have called me the most angelic girl in the world. And I played around with them. I just used them�for popularity, for amusement, for
whatever. I�m being honest, all right? I considered them to be toys or trophies.� She paused. �But there was something else. Something that I knew all my
life was coming�but I didn�t know what. I felt as if I were searching for something that I
could never find with boys. None of my scheming or playing around
with them ever touched my�deepest heart�until one very special boy came along.� She stopped and swallowed and said it again. �One very special
boy.
�His name was Stefan.
�And he turned out not to be what he looked like, a normal�but gorgeous�high school senior with rumpled dark hair and eyes as green as
emeralds.
�Stefan Salvatore turned out to be a vampire. �A real vampire.�
Elena had to pause to take a few choked breaths before she could get the next words out. �And so did his gorgeous older brother, Damon.�
She bit her lips, and it seemed a long time later that she added, �Would I have loved
Stefan if I�d known he was a vampire from the beginning?
Yes! Yes! Yes! I�d have fallen in love with him no matter what! But it changed things�
and it changed me.� Elena�s finger traced a pattern on her nightgown
by touch alone. �You see, vampires show love by exchanging blood. The problem was�that I was sharing blood with Damon, too. Not really by choice, but
because he was after me constantly, day and night.�
She let out a sigh. �What Damon says is that he wants to make me a vampire and his
Princess of the Night. What that translates into is: he wants
me all to himself. But I wouldn�t trust Damon on anything unless he gave his word. That�s one quirk he has, he never breaks his word.�
Elena could feel an odd smile curling her lips, but she was speaking calmly now, fluently, the mobile almost forgotten.
�A girl involved with two vampires�well, there�s bound to be trouble, isn�t there? So maybe I deserved what I got.
�I died.
�Not just �died� like when your heart stops and they resuscitate you and you come back talking about almost going into the Light. I went into the
Light. �I died.
�And when I came back�what a surprise! I was a vampire.
�Damon was�kind to me, I suppose, when I first woke up as a vampire. Maybe that�s the reason I still have�feelings for him. He didn�t take
advantage of me when he could have easily.
�But I only had time to do a few things in my vampire life. I had time to remember Stefan and love him more than ever�since I knew, then, how
difficult everything was for him. I got to listen to my own memorial service. Ha! Everybody should get a chance to do that. I learned to always, always wear
lapis lazuli so I wouldn�t become a vampire Crispy Critter. I got to say good-bye to my little four-year-old sister, Margaret, and visit Bonnie and Meredith�.
�
Tears were still sliding almost unnoticed down Elena�s face. But she spoke quietly. �And then�I died again.
�I died the way a vampire dies, when they don�t have lapis lazuli in the sunlight. I didn�t crumble into dust; I was only seventeen. But the sun
poisoned me anyway. Going was almost�peaceful. That was when I made Stefan promise to take care of Damon, always. And I think Damon swore to
take care of Stefan, in his mind. And that was how I died, with Stefan holding me and
Damon beside me as I simply drifted away, like going to sleep.
�After that, I had dreams I don�t remember, and then suddenly, one day everyone was surprised because I was talking to them through Bonnie, who
is very psychic, poor thing. I guess I had landed the job of being Fell�s Church�s guardian spirit. There was a danger to the town. They had to fight it and
somehow,
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