long waiting

Long Waiting
-aniof


I was sitting here at the park waiting for Brad. We’ve been for two years in relationship. I know that Brad really loves
me so much but I was just thinking that I was being so unfair unto him. In our two years of relationship, I know that I can’t
give my whole heart to him. Because there was this man who still captures my heart and his name was Jake. It was when we
were still in junior high school when our classmates keep on teasing us. I know that the feelings that he had for me was
started from a heck. Moreover, I can’t deny the fact that I also felt the same way to him. However, my feelings for him were
full of curiosity, which causes pain for me sometimes. It was because my instinct told me that he was also madly in love with
me but only afraid to show it off. Nevertheless, the one that challenged and hurt me more was when he courted someone. I
felt my heart crushed and fall into pieces. I was so depress. By not being a villain, I was happy when the girl some kind of
“busted” him. However, some of my friends told me that the main reason there was that his feelings for that woman faded. I
was asking myself, “If his feelings for that woman faded, is his actions that he showed when with me or even having a single
communication with me tells that he still had a feeling for me?” However, I need not to be dependent to that instinct. In fact,
I’m trying to forget him. When were far apart for our college, I thought I could already forget him. Nevertheless, the everyday
in my life, I felt being sick for I miss him. However, it is not the only fact that I’m pointing to, it’s about he showed up to me
every weekend. “Why is that so?” I was wondering. I make some step to forget him by surrendering my feelings about him to
my friends. However, I guess, by telling them about that didn’t helped me but something clearing things out. Because they
were telling him that, I have a feeling for him. He only told them that he has a doubt for his feelings for me and afraid to lose
our friendship if ever he surrenders his feelings for me. Because of everything happens it improves our friendship. There was
something in his words and actions that I can’t explain. Instead of giving much attention to that, I only told myself, it’s only my
instinct.
We already graduated college.

He needs to go to Canada. It was really, indeed, so hard for me to take. He just said goodbye without clearing all the
questions I have inside and about our past, which stills left hanging. However, I never showed up some questions either. In
fact, I was trying to forget him.
Then, that was the time I met Brad, who’d been an adviser and a very good friend of mine. I’m happy we’ve been together for
two years in relationship. However, I was really being unfair to him.
My phone rings in my pocket. As I look at my phone there was an unfamiliar number reflected.
“ Hello?” I said with a sound of curiosity. “
Hi! Helen?” voice at the other line, which sounds so glad when it heard my voice.
“ Yes? May I know you?”
“ Did you already forget me?” he sounded so ruse.
“ You know, I really have no idea who you are”, I felt so irritated.
“ Well, I just want to tell you that I miss you”, in a silent voice.
“ What? You know I’m not making any fool at you! Please, tell me who you are or else I will put down this phone because I
don’t talk to strangers”, I’m already losing my patience.
Voice at the other line laughing, “You’d never change!”
I put down the phone without any word then I saw Brad coming.
“ What happened? Is there something wrong?” Brad said showing some concern.
” There was just a stranger who called me and maybe he only dialed the wrong number