Writing for Vaudeville | Page 6

supplies much of the life-blood of a vaudeville show. Without
him modern vaudeville could not live.
Thus, much of the present wide popularity of vaudeville is due to the
writer. It is largely owing to the addition of his thoughts that vaudeville
stands to-day as a greater influence--because it has a wider appeal--than
the legitimate drama in the make-believe life of the land. Even the
motion pictures, which are nearer the eyes of the masses, are not nearer
their hearts. Vaudeville was the first to foster motion pictures and
vaudeville still accords the motion picture the place it deserves on its
bills. For vaudeville is the amusement weekly of the world--it gathers
and presents each week the best the world affords in entertainment.
And much of the best comes from the writer's brain.
Because mechanical novelties that are vaudeville-worth-while are rare,
and because acrobats and animal trainers are of necessity limited by the
frailties of the flesh, and for the reason that dancers cannot forever
present new steps, it remains for the writer to bring to vaudeville the
never-ceasing novelty of his thoughts. New songs, new ideas, new
stories, new dreams are what vaudeville demands from the writer.
Laughter that lightens the weary day is what is asked for most.
It is in the fulfilling of vaudeville's fine mission that writers all over the
world are turning out their best. And because the mission of vaudeville

is fine, the writing of anything that is not fine is contemptible. The
author who tries to turn his talents to base uses--putting an untrue
emphasis on life's false values, picturing situations that are not
wholesome, using words that are not clean--deserves the fate of failure
that awaits him. As E. F. Albee, who for years has been a controlling
force in vaudeville, wrote: [1] "We have no trouble in keeping
vaudeville clean and wholesome, unless it is with some act that is just
entering, for the majority of the performers are jealous of the
respectable name that vaudeville has to-day, and cry out themselves
against besmirchment by others."
[1] "The Future of the Show Business," by E. F. Albee, in The
Billboard for December 19, 1914.
Reality and truth are for what the vaudeville writer strives. The clean,
the fine, the wholesome is his goal. He finds in the many theatres all
over the land a countless audience eager to hear what he has to say.
And millions are invested to help him say it well.
CHAPTER II
SHOULD YOU TRY TO WRITE FOR VAUDEVILLE?
"I became a writer," George Bernard Shaw once said, "because I
wanted to get a living without working for it--I have since realized my
mistake." Anyone who thinks that by writing for vaudeville he can get
a living without working for it is doomed to a sad and speedy
awakening.
If I were called upon to give a formula for the creation of a successful
vaudeville writer, I would specify: The dramatic genius of a Shakespere,
the diplomatic craftiness of a Machiavelli, the explosive energy of a
Roosevelt, and the genius-for-long-hours of an Edison: mix in equal
proportions, add a dash of Shaw's impudence, all the patience of Job,
and keep boiling for a lifetime over the seething ambition of Napoleon.
In other--and less extreme--words, if you contemplate writing for
vaudeville for your bread and butter, you must bring to the business, if

not genius, at least the ability to think, and if not boundless energy, at
any rate a determination never to rest content with the working hours of
the ordinary professions.
If you suppose that the mere reading of this book is going to make you
able to think, permit me gently to disillusion you; and if you are
imbued with the flattering faith that after studying these chapters you
will suddenly be able to sit down and write a successful playlet,
monologue, two-act, musical comedy libretto, or even a good little
"gag," in the words of classic vaudeville--forget it! All this book can do
for you--all any instruction can do--is to show you the right path, show
precisely how others have successfully essayed it, and wish you luck.
Do you remember the brave lines of W. E. Henley, the blind English
poet:
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I
thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
And again in the same poem, "Invictus":
I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
There sings the spirit that will carry a writer to success in vaudeville or
in any other line of writing; and it is this inspired attitude you should
assume toward the present book of instruction.
These chapters, carefully designed and painstakingly arranged, contain
information and suggestions which, if studied