Write Stories To Me, Grandpa! | Page 5

stories, anecdotes and lore give grandchildren a better view of
their grandparents, and about what older adults believe. The process, if

positive oriented, contributes toward the grandchild's maturity, and
offers them encouragement, values, models and incentives. There are
tens of thousands of homes across the world where treasured
possessions, tangible and otherwise, were created or acquired by the
occupants or their forebears. You have them in your home as I do in
mine. In time, those possessions: properties and artifacts, along with
their histories, will move along to your children and grandchildren. In
every culture, 'grandpa and grandma stories', along with 'mom and dad
stories,' are part of that inheritance.
When youngsters know that Grandpa or Grandma wrote a story
expressly for them, that more than qualifies the story for the special
collection of treasures to be shared with close friends, presented at
school as a show-and-tell, and eventually absorbed into the treasured
memorabilia of childhood.
GRANDPARENT-GRANDCHILD INTERVIEW
A fun way to open lines of communications while visiting
grandchildren, be the youngsters residing nearby or far away, is the
audiotaped, email or cellphone interview. Living nearby, the grandchild
knows grandma and grandpa, they're part of everyday life. Far away is
different, geography creates gaps.
The one-on-one interview builds self-esteem and confidence in a
youngster. It's an excellent learning experience, and creates a record of
lasting memories for the family's archives.
An interview structures a conversation. Men are often as reticent as
women are eloquent: women are much more socially oriented than men
and communicate easier. However, the interview technique can be a
starter to work through Grandpa's reserve. It quickly engages the
participants in a dialogue and is as much fun for one as for the other.
Vague questions by adults should be avoided; they're confusing.
Let's set up an interview.

Grandma and Grandpa plan to visit Son or Daughter and the
Grandchildren. The visit will include a Grandpa or Grandma interview
to be conducted by Grandchild and the give-and-take will be recorded,
audio and/or video.
In arranging the visit, Grandma or Grandpa discusses with Son or
Daughter what they have in mind. It's fine with Son/Daughter and they
agree to prepare Grandchild, including general subjects to explore and
preliminary questions. It's a fun experience, but don't insist on having
an audience present that might make anyone uncomfortable.
When all concerned are ready (recorders checked and set up, the date,
time, place, names, occasion, and whatever else considered prefatory
has been recorded in advance) Grandchild opens with the first question.
In this example, Grandpa is being interviewed.
In responding, Grandpa avoids the simple 'yes' or 'no' answer even
when such might suffice. Sure, Grandpa could respond with 'Yes' or
'No' to Grandchild's question, 'Grandpa, is your first name 'Tom'?'
Wouldn't it be more fun if Grandpa transformed his reply into family
lore with 'Yes, it is, and let me tell you how I got that name. The
Sunday after I was born, my Dad hooked ol' Dobbin to the sleigh to
take us all to... .' and he's off and away into another bit of Lore
Americana, or wherever.
Unless agreed to in advance, questions and answers are serious.
Knowing what a young grandchild likes to talk about is important and
can focus the interview.
Youngsters, though, have minds of their own and might well pop an
unexpected question. Using 'we' or 'us' and encouraging inputs from
Grandchild keeps the interview from becoming one-sided.
Grandchildren pile up their experiences and feelings for an anticipated
interaction, and an interview will provide speaker or listener with
opportunities to talk about them and themselves.
Grandpa creates opportunities. For instance, in answering a question,
he closes with: 'That's how it worked out for me; now, how about you?

Did you ever?' and the switch is made.
The interview can go in one direction then the other for as long as both
want it to. In the give-and-take Grandchild learns a lot about Grandma
and Grandpa, and everyone involved in the game broaden their
awareness, and renew and revitalize family traditions and values.
Expect spontaneity and deep probing by youngsters when they are the
interviewers. They are interested in the origins of people and things,
depending on their ages, of course; be ready for such questions as:
What are stars in the sky? What keeps them up when everything else
falls? Why is the sun? The moon? Who made them? Why? Where do
eggs come from? Did I come from an egg? Well, then, where did I
come from? Is that where you came from? Where is a baby before it's
born? Why did (Grandpa/Grandma) die? Where is (he/she) now?
CREATE AN HEIRLOOM CATALOGUE
Family treasures are passed along from generation to generation. In
time, they acquire the venerable aura of heirlooms. The passage of
years transform them