those possessions: properties and artifacts, along with their histories, will move along to your children and grandchildren. In every culture, 'grandpa and grandma stories', along with 'mom and dad stories,' are part of that inheritance.
When youngsters know that Grandpa or Grandma wrote a story expressly for them, that more than qualifies the story for the special collection of treasures to be shared with close friends, presented at school as a show-and-tell, and eventually absorbed into the treasured memorabilia of childhood.
GRANDPARENT-GRANDCHILD INTERVIEW
A fun way to open lines of communications while visiting grandchildren, be the youngsters residing nearby or far away, is the audiotaped, email or cellphone interview. Living nearby, the grandchild knows grandma and grandpa, they're part of everyday life. Far away is different, geography creates gaps.
The one-on-one interview builds self-esteem and confidence in a youngster. It's an excellent learning experience, and creates a record of lasting memories for the family's archives.
An interview structures a conversation. Men are often as reticent as women are eloquent: women are much more socially oriented than men and communicate easier. However, the interview technique can be a starter to work through Grandpa's reserve. It quickly engages the participants in a dialogue and is as much fun for one as for the other.
Vague questions by adults should be avoided; they're confusing.
Let's set up an interview.
Grandma and Grandpa plan to visit Son or Daughter and the Grandchildren. The visit will include a Grandpa or Grandma interview to be conducted by Grandchild and the give-and-take will be recorded, audio and/or video.
In arranging the visit, Grandma or Grandpa discusses with Son or Daughter what they have in mind. It's fine with Son/Daughter and they agree to prepare Grandchild, including general subjects to explore and preliminary questions. It's a fun experience, but don't insist on having an audience present that might make anyone uncomfortable.
When all concerned are ready (recorders checked and set up, the date, time, place, names, occasion, and whatever else considered prefatory has been recorded in advance) Grandchild opens with the first question. In this example, Grandpa is being interviewed.
In responding, Grandpa avoids the simple 'yes' or 'no' answer even when such might suffice. Sure, Grandpa could respond with 'Yes' or 'No' to Grandchild's question, 'Grandpa, is your first name 'Tom'?' Wouldn't it be more fun if Grandpa transformed his reply into family lore with 'Yes, it is, and let me tell you how I got that name. The Sunday after I was born, my Dad hooked ol' Dobbin to the sleigh to take us all to... .' and he's off and away into another bit of Lore Americana, or wherever.
Unless agreed to in advance, questions and answers are serious. Knowing what a young grandchild likes to talk about is important and can focus the interview.
Youngsters, though, have minds of their own and might well pop an unexpected question. Using 'we' or 'us' and encouraging inputs from Grandchild keeps the interview from becoming one-sided. Grandchildren pile up their experiences and feelings for an anticipated interaction, and an interview will provide speaker or listener with opportunities to talk about them and themselves.
Grandpa creates opportunities. For instance, in answering a question, he closes with: 'That's how it worked out for me; now, how about you? Did you ever?' and the switch is made.
The interview can go in one direction then the other for as long as both want it to. In the give-and-take Grandchild learns a lot about Grandma and Grandpa, and everyone involved in the game broaden their awareness, and renew and revitalize family traditions and values.
Expect spontaneity and deep probing by youngsters when they are the interviewers. They are interested in the origins of people and things, depending on their ages, of course; be ready for such questions as:
What are stars in the sky? What keeps them up when everything else falls? Why is the sun? The moon? Who made them? Why? Where do eggs come from? Did I come from an egg? Well, then, where did I come from? Is that where you came from? Where is a baby before it's born? Why did (Grandpa/Grandma) die? Where is (he/she) now?
CREATE AN HEIRLOOM CATALOGUE
Family treasures are passed along from generation to generation. In time, they acquire the venerable aura of heirlooms. The passage of years transform them into antiques that are honored in the family's lore and traditions.
You have several, you say? Heirlooms? Where? And antiques too?
Squirreled away, at the moment, in your cellar, attic, or garage, or proudly displayed in your den or sewing room, the ancient objects eventual departure for elsewhere is inevitable. They have survived one house cleaning after another and denied candidacy for garage sales and flea markets. Some are treasures from previous generations, or the product of your own hands and, without doubt, they belong to posterity. OK, so this or that artifact
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