Write Stories To Me, Grandpa! | Page 3

the web's strands and rainbow-sparkled in the morning sunlight. Standing there, both of us bent forward peering into the web, I wove a story that transformed the sparkling strands into a carnival and the spider into an acrobat. Granddaughter's eyes widened with wonder.
We continued on and stopped at a house to observe a cat on the porch playing with a yellow ball. I wove another tale, this time of a cat and a strange ball that bounced too high and disappeared into a cloud. Again, my granddaughter's expression showed her pleasure in hearing grandpa's story. For the remainder of my visit, and during subsequent visits, I told her, and when he was old enough, my grandson, of the world around us and how we hoped to, some day, live all together peacefully on Planet Earth.
Visits, in either direction were infrequent. Adult-oriented telephone calls usually left only brief moments for talking to grandchildren. Long distance calls just didn't generate the right ambiance and enough time for the relaxed talking and easy listening that goes naturally with a grandpa story. Then, too, at the close of an adult telephone conversation the youngsters are usually busy at other things, and sometimes grandpas just don't do well as talkers.
In my situation, I filled the gap with hand-scribed and, later on, typed stories. The letter-stories lengthened our telephone chats to devising plots for new stories, flesh-out characters, settings, and scenes. There are no better aids to a grandparent-grandchild telephone or email story conference than our faithful friends Who, What, Where, When, Why and How.
In my situation, one letter-story followed another, often illustrated with pictures from discarded magazines. When I couldn't find a just-right illustration, I laboriously sketched an all-thumbs grandpa original. It was an enjoyable experience for me, and feedback from the family showed it was enjoyable for my grandchildren as well.
FAMILY HISTORY SCROLL
The extended family's history scroll is shipped from one relative to another in a mailing tube or as an attachment to an email. Each family adds a paragraph or a genealogical sketch to record what happened to them since the previous go-round and that might be of interest to others. Generally, the messages and line sketches are hand scribed, but may be typed and snapshots attached with plastic adhesive tape, or accompany the email.
When a scroll becomes too cumbersome for easy handling it may be retired and stored (or electronically archived) with one of the family members and a note added to a succeeding scroll stating with whom or where the previous scroll is stored.
WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?
Long-term studies of large communities offer evidence that individuals with strong family and social ties tend to be healthier than those that live in isolation.
A conference of doctors and social scientists proposed a theory that altruism, particularly when the helper observes its benefits, can reduce feelings of helplessness and depression and thus enhance health. Also, persons who came in direct contact with those that they aided reported a strong and lasting sense of satisfaction, even exhilaration, an increased sense of self-worth, less depression, and fewer aches and pains.
Relating the theory to the theme of these notes, what a grandparent gets back often depends to the value he or she places on, and the efforts he or she makes toward building positive intergenerational relationships. If family has significance, then interacting with a grandchild, near or faraway, manifests that significance and the returns it generates.
Returns imply investments. As grandparents age, their investment is transformed into a return.' The 'return' contributes vitality, vibrancy and enrichment to a grandparent's latter years.
PICTURE POSTCARDS
During a discussion on intergenerational communications one of the men present said that he wanted to send a picture postcard to his distant grandchild but didn't know what to write. He said he had been a salesman but, in this situation, he was at a loss for words.
I asked what he had done earlier that day. He mentioned several ordinary activities and added, as an afterthought, that he had strolled along a nearby beach.
'What did you see during your walk?'
'Seals and pelicans on the rocks offshore. Big waves rolling in. One of the seals slid off the rock and into the water. The tide was out, and I explored a tide pool. I saw a... .'
He stared at me for a moment, grinned, took his pen from his shirt pocket and made notes on a slip of paper.
GRANDPARENT'S ROLE
Grandparents generally accept and enjoy the many roles into which they have been cast. One of the many is that they are the grandparents of all their grandchildren, not just of one that they chose to be their favorite. Favoritism invites disaster.
A young mother of two posed the following dilemma to an Internet discussion group devoted to family relations and child behavior. I altered the text slightly, primarily to