Wolfville | Page 5

next week allowin' thar ain't been no funeral, an' I don't reckon
much that they will. We've got the corpse, an' if we gets bucked off
now it's our fault.'
"So he app'ints Old Monte an' Dan Boggs to go for a box for Jack, an'
details a couple of niggers from the corral to dig a tomb.
"'An' mind you-alls,' says Peets, `I wants that hole at least a mile from
camp. In order to make a funeral a success, you needs distance. That's
where deceased gets action. It gives the procession a chance to spread
an' show up. You can't make no funeral imposin' except you're plumb
liberal on distances.'
"It all goes smooth right off the reel. We gets a box an' grave ready, an'
Peets sticks up a notice on the stage-station door, settin' the excitement
for third-drink time next day. Prompt at the drop of the hat the camp
lets go all holds an' turns loose in a body to put Jack through right. He's
laid out in splendid shape in the New York Store, with nothin' to
complain of if he's asked to make the kick himse'f. He has a new silk

necktie, blue shirt an' pearl buttons, trousers, an' boots. Some
one--Benson Annie, I reckons--has pasted some co't plaster over the
hole on his cheek-bone where the bullet gets in, an' all 'round Jack
looks better than I ever sees him.
"'Let the congregation remove its hats,' says Peets, a-settin' down on a
box up at Jack's head, 'an' as many as can will please get somethin' to
camp on. Now, my friends," he continues, "thar ain't no need of my
puttin' on any frills or gettin' in any scroll work. The objects of this
convention is plain an' straight. Mister King, here present, is dead.
Deceased is a very headstrong person, an' persists yesterday in
entertainin' views touchin' a club flush, queen at the head, which results
in life everlastin'. Now, gents, this is a racket full of solemnity. We
wants nothin' but good words. Don't mind about the trooth; which the
same ain't in play at a funeral, nohow. We all knows Jack; we knows
his record. Our information is ample that a-way; how he steals a hoss at
Tucson; how be robs a gent last fall at Tombstone; how he downs a
party at Cruces; how that scar on his neck he gets from Wells-Fargo's
people when he stands up the stage over on the Lordsburg trail. But we
lays it all aside to- day. We don't copper nary bet. Yesterday mornin',
accompanied by the report of a Colt's forty-five, Mister King, who lies
yere so cool an' easy, leaves us to enter in behind the great white shinin'
gates of pearl an' gold, which swings inward to glory eternal. It's a great
set back at this time thar ain't no sky-pilot in the camp. This deeficiency
in sky-pilots is a hoss onto us, but we does our best. At a time like this I
hears that singin' is a good, safe break, an' I tharfore calls on that little
girl from Flagstaff to give us "The Dyin' Ranger."
"So the little Flagstaff girl cl'ars her valves with a drink, an' gives us the
song; an' when the entire congregation draws kyards on the last verse it
does everybody good.
"'Far away from his dear old Texas, We laid him down to rest; With his
saddle for a pillow, And his gun across his breast.'
"Then Peets gets out the Scriptures. 'I'm goin' to read a chapter outen
these yere Testaments,' he says. 'I ain't makin' no claim for it, except it's
part of the game an' accordin' to Hoyle. If thar's a preacher yere he'd do

it, but bein' thar's no sech brand on this range I makes it as a forced
play myse'f.'
"So he reads us, a chapter about the sepulcher, an' Mary Magdalene, an'
the resurrection; an' everybody takes it in profound as prairie- dogs, for
that's the lead to make, an' we knows it.
"Then Peets allows he'd like to hear from any gent onder the head of
'good of the order.'
"'Mister Ondertaker an' Chairman,' says Jim Hamilton, 'I yields to an
inward impulse to say that this yere play weighs on me plumb heavy.
As keeper of the dance-hall I sees a heap of the corpse an' knows him
well. Mister King is my friend, an' while his moods is variable an'
oncertain; an' it's cl'arly worth while to wear your gun while he's
hoverin' near, I loves him. He has his weaknesses, as do we all. A
disp'sition to make new rooles as he plays along for sech games of
chance as enjoys his notice is perhaps his greatest failin'. His givin' way
to