William Tell Told Again | Page 3

Pelham Grenville Wodehouse
was sure you would be
sensible about it. Now, if you will kindly place in the tambourine which
the gentleman on my left is presenting to you a mere trifle to
compensate us for our trouble in giving you an audience, and if you"
(to Arnold of Melchthal) "will contribute an additional trifle for use of
the Imperial boiling oil, I think we shall all be satisfied. You've done it?
_That's_ right. Good-bye, and mind the step as you go out."
And, as he finished this speech, the three spokesmen of the people of
Switzerland were shown out of the Hall of Audience.


CHAPTER II
They were met in the street outside by a large body of their
fellow-citizens, who had accompanied them to the Palace, and who had

been spending the time since their departure in listening by turns at the
keyhole of the front-door. But as the Hall of Audience was at the other
side of the Palace, and cut off from the front-door by two other doors, a
flight of stairs, and a long passage, they had not heard very much of
what had gone on inside, and they surrounded the three spokesmen as
they came out, and questioned them eagerly.
"Has he taken off the tax on jam?" asked Ulric the smith.
"What is he going to do about the tax on mixed biscuits?" shouted
Klaus von der Flue, who was a chimney-sweep of the town and loved
mixed biscuits.
"Never mind about tea and mixed biscuits!" cried his neighbour, Meier
of Sarnen. "What I want to know is whether we shall have to pay for
keeping sheep any more."
"What did the Governor say?" asked Jost Weiler, a practical man, who
liked to go straight to the point.
The three spokesmen looked at one another a little doubtfully.
"We-e-ll," said Werner Stauffacher at last, "as a matter of fact, he didn't
actually say very much. It was more what he _did_, if you understand
me, than what he said."
"I should describe His Excellency the Governor," said Walter Fürst, "as
a man who has got a way with him--a man who has got all sorts of
arguments at his finger-tips."
At the mention of finger-tips, Arnold of Melchthal uttered a sharp
howl.
"In short," continued Walter, "after a few minutes' very interesting
conversation he made us see that it really wouldn't do, and that we must
go on paying the taxes as before."
There was a dead silence for several minutes, while everybody looked

at everybody else in dismay.
The silence was broken by Arnold of Sewa. Arnold of Sewa had been
disappointed at not being chosen as one of the three spokesmen, and he
thought that if he had been so chosen all this trouble would not have
occurred.
"The fact is," he said bitterly, "that you three have failed to do what you
were sent to do. I mention no names--far from it--but I don't mind
saying that there are some people in this town who would have given a
better account of themselves. What you want in little matters of this
sort is, if I may say so, tact. Tact; that's what you want. Of course, if
you will go rushing into the Governor's presence--"
"But we didn't rush," said Walter Fürst.
"--Shouting out that you want the taxes abolished--"
"But we didn't shout," said Walter Fürst.
"I really cannot speak if I am to be constantly interrupted," said Arnold
of Sewa severely. "What I say is, that you ought to employ tact. Tact;
that's what you want. If I had been chosen to represent the Swiss people
in this affair--I am not saying I ought to have been, mind you; I merely
say if I had been--I should have acted rather after the following fashion:
Walking firmly, but not defiantly, into the tyrant's presence, I should
have broken the ice with some pleasant remark about the weather. The
conversation once started, the rest would have been easy. I should have
said that I hoped His Excellency had enjoyed a good dinner. Once on
the subject of food, and it would have been the simplest of tasks to
show him how unnecessary taxes on food were, and the whole affair
would have been pleasantly settled while you waited. I do not imply
that the Swiss people would have done better to have chosen me as
their representative. I merely say that that is how I should have acted
had they done so."
And Arnold of Sewa twirled his moustache and looked offended. His
friends instantly suggested that he should be allowed to try where the

other three had failed, and the rest of the crowd, beginning to hope once
more, took up the cry. The result was that the visitors' bell of the
Continue reading on your phone by scaning this QR Code

 / 22
Tip: The current page has been bookmarked automatically. If you wish to continue reading later, just open the Dertz Homepage, and click on the 'continue reading' link at the bottom of the page.