Wilfrid Cumbermede | Page 8

go. I want to go to my
grave, and they won't let me! Is that an age at which to keep a poor
woman from her grave?'
'But it's not a nice place, is it, grannie?' I asked, with the vaguest ideas
of what the grave meant. 'I think somebody told me it was in the
churchyard.'
But neither did I know with any clearness what the church itself meant,
for we were a long way from church, and I had never been there yet.
'Yes, it is in the churchyard, my dear.'
'Is it a house?' I asked.
'Yes, a little house; just big enough for one.'
'I shouldn't like that.'
'Oh yes, you would.'
'Is it a nice place, then?'

'Yes, the nicest place in the world, when you get to be so old as I am. If
they would only let me die!'
'Die, grannie!' I exclaimed. My notions of death as yet were derived
only from the fowls brought from the farm, with their necks hanging
down long and limp, and their heads wagging hither and thither.
'Come, grannie, you mustn't frighten our little man,' interposed my
uncle, looking kindly at us both.
'David!' said grannie, with a reproachful dignity, 'you know what I
mean well enough. You know that until I have done what I have to do,
the grave that is waiting for me will not open its mouth to receive me.
If you will only allow me to do what I have to do, I shall not trouble
you long. Oh dear! oh dear!' she broke out, moaning and rocking
herself to and fro, 'I am too old to weep, and they will not let me to my
bed. I want to go to bed. I want to go to sleep.'
She moaned and complained like a child. My uncle went near and took
her hand.
'Come, come, dear grannie!' he said, 'you must not behave like this.
You know all things are for the best.'
'To keep a corpse out of its grave!' retorted the old lady, almost fiercely,
only she was too old and weak to be fierce. 'Why should you keep a
soul that's longing to depart and go to its own people, lingering on in
the coffin? What better than a coffin is this withered body? The child is
old enough to understand me. Leave him with me for half an hour, and
I shall trouble you no longer. I shall at least wait my end in peace. But I
think I should die before the morning.'
Ere grannie had finished this sentence, I had shrunk from her again and
retreated behind my uncle.
'There!' she went on, 'you make my own child fear me. Don't be
frightened, Willie dear; your old mother is not a wild beast; she loves
you dearly. Only my grand-children are so undutiful! They will not let

my own son come near me.'
How I recall this I do not know, for I could not have understood it at
the time. The fact is that during the last few years I have found pictures
of the past returning upon me in the most vivid and unaccountable
manner, so much so as almost to alarm me. Things I had utterly
forgotten--or so far at least that when they return, they must appear
only as vivid imaginations, were it not for a certain conviction of fact
which accompanies them--are constantly dawning out of the past. Can
it be that the decay of the observant faculties allows the memory to
revive and gather force? But I must refrain, for my business is to
narrate, not to speculate.
My uncle took me by the hand, and turned to leave the room. I cast one
look at grannie as he led me away. She had thrown her head back on
her chair, and her eyes were closed; but her face looked offended,
almost angry. She looked to my fancy as if she were trying but unable
to lie down. My uncle closed the doors very gently. In the middle of the
stair he stopped, and said in a low voice,
'Willie, do you know that when people grow very old they are not quite
like other people?'
'Yes. They want to go to the churchyard,' I answered.
'They fancy things,' said my uncle. 'Grannie thinks you are her own
son.'
'And ain't I?' I asked innocently.
'Not exactly,' he answered. 'Your father was her son's son. She forgets
that, and wants to talk to you as if you were your grandfather. Poor old
grannie! I don't wish you to go and see her without your aunt or me:
mind that.'
Whether I made any promise I do not remember; but I know that a new
something was mingled with my life